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Stu Singer, PsyD; M.Ed.
6.5K posts
Stu Singer, PsyD; M.Ed.
@Wellperformance
@MSE | @washmystics 🧠 | DoSo app https://t.co/hrPbQ99HQ5. | Course: https://t.co/NhAq8P3CvV | [email protected]
Present Moment Joined Mart 2011
994 Following2.6K Followers
Thank you @EarlyRetirePod for having me on and having this really important conversation.
And, @coach_fletcher has some real skills in interviewing! Definitely follow and download his podcast!
Coach Wayne Fletcher@coach_fletcher
This is a must listen/view for everyone involved in the youth sports process (players, parents, coaches, ADs, principals, teachers, and more!)
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Great coaches “join” their athletes by understanding their perspectives—which doesn’t always mean agreeing.
Connection isn’t about compliance; it’s about trust. When players feel heard, they’re more open to the feedback that leads to growth.
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Peace is knowing when your work is meaningful, impactful, and aligned with the things you value most.
Hearing from your former athletes/clients long after you’re done working together is the experience of fulfillment.
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You are NOT the words in your head.
YOU are the awareness of those words.
This is where your power lives.
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The majority of all mental strength comes down to this:
The acceptance that “all outcomes are possible”.
Are you willing to commit consistently to do all the right things WITHOUT the certainty that you get the outcome you want?
Strength is on the other side of this acceptance.
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In the performance world (athlete or leader) we should continually be moving more and more towards evaluation and moving further and further from criticism.
They’re in the same area code but miles and miles apart in effectiveness.
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Mental skills alone are NOT enough.
We must do work developing self-awareness in order to gain clarity of our habitual thought patterns and internal story.
Our story and thinking patterns are what trip us up in the first place. With this awareness we can apply the skills.
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We need to expand our definition of wealth/success.
Must include:
✅reaching goals/awards aligned w/ core-values
✅meaningful relationships
✅physical/mental wellness
Success/wealth should be measured by a balance of achievement, inner purpose, love, health, and authenticity.
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We’re not trying to rid ourselves of “butterflies”. They’re there for a reason - we have a big job to accomplish.
We’re developing a new relationship with them.
They’re not telling you you’re anxious. They’re telling you you’re determined to get this hard job done!
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Don’t know who needs to hear this but mental skills are not one way of being.
High/low emotions are normal. Being always calm wouldn’t make sense or be “normal”.
Mental work is about self-awareness, authenticity, and the ability to have choice/efficacy in the moment.
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Stu Singer, PsyD; M.Ed. retweeted
Despite enduring a seemingly endless string of injuries/illness, forcing us to play 18 of 24 @NikeGirlsEYBL Champions League games with a max of 6 healthy girls, @HoneyBadgers25 finish our season as the highest ranked Nike 17U girls team in New England!!
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Players, there is no environment/coach that will be perfect. Even a best-practices environment will challenge you.
The modern athlete should be doing proactive mental skills training so that they can manage pressures, emotions, success, and setbacks.
Be prepared and proactive.
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@KevinAhearn I’m teaching a graduate course on the psychology of coaching/leadership. This is just a reminder of happening inside of us when coaching. So to no one in particular.
Buuuuut…if the shoe fits for a certain National Team coach….
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Great reminder, Stu. I don’t know who you were thinking about with this post, but I can think of a very high level (national team?) soccer coach that could use this refresher.
Stu Singer, PsyD; M.Ed.@Wellperformance
Best-practice reframe for leaders/coaches: Every mistake that those we lead make is OUR fault/responsibility. If they didn’t perform it, we didn’t teach it (may have covered it) or we didn’t reach them. Own it, accept it, and get back to TEACHING/REACHING until they do.
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Best-practice reframe for leaders/coaches:
Every mistake that those we lead make is OUR fault/responsibility.
If they didn’t perform it, we didn’t teach it (may have covered it) or we didn’t reach them.
Own it, accept it, and get back to TEACHING/REACHING until they do.
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@LakeBraddockGBB @CoachEssential Thanks for sharing! Caught this yesterday and thought that there may not be a better quote to use about how to frame how the “long-game” is won by how often we’re present to winning the “short-game”. Hammered home by the fact that he only one 54% of his points, but 80% matches!
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Such a great message
@CoachEssential @Wellperformance
Dylan Jardon 🌈@DylanJardon
"Perfection is impossible. In the 1,526 singles matches I played in my career, I won almost 80% of those matches. But what percentage of points did I win? 54% In other words, even top ranked tennis players win barely more than half the points they play. When you lose ever second point on average, you learn not to dwell on every shot. You teach yourself to think: 'Okay, I double faulted...it's only a point.' 'Okay, I came to the net and I got passed again...it's only a point.' Even a great shot, an overhead backhand smash that ends up on ESPN's top 10 playlist – that too is just a point. Here's why I'm telling you this. When you're playing a point, it has to be the most important thing in the world. And it is. But when it's behind you, it's behind you. This mindset is crucial – because it frees you to fully commit to the next point with intensity, clarity, and focus." –@rogerfederer
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