celsey braddock

our new single “kickin’ & screamin’” out december 10th. 🤘🏼

@taylorswift13 if you hate us just say that

@NHL get new fuckin refs bc their calls on the WCF is giving favoritism

@Target WHY do you have a certified USDA organic product that is exposed to a man-made chemical with KNOWN severe reproductive/bodily side-effects? it’s on me for not reading the label before i bought it, but when the word “organic” is involved, i’d assume it’s safe. guess not.

patiently waiting for the planet to implode; i’m tired of this shit, grandpa.

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sinister gates stop wearing capris pants challenge

@CityOfArlington truly fuck you and your fucking construction

me: *contemplating making an entire chocolate cake from scratch at 9PM on a wednesday night* inner me: “grocery store is right around the corner from the house bro”

pennifer coolidge

or we can do both you’re just a fucking homophobe you fuck stick

@elonmusk so are you gonna explain the Nazi salute or?

you are a literal cancer to the state of Texas bro stfu

sue me but i just saw iron maiden and they… they didn’t play run to the hills and i’m UPSETTI SPAGHETTI

Oops…

esa: look at my son miro! he has two goals! stars coach: yeah esa i saw

2 GOALS FOR THIS LITTLE GUY