d1 dev

@larissaphillip Westhill????

Once around 2000 or so I was interviewing a woman about a book she’d written, to write it up for a parenting mag. The woman and I noted we were both from Connecticut, and then I mentioned my mom had actually worked as a school psychologist in the Stamford school system, where she had gone to school. She knew my last name, so she goes, “This is probably dumb but your mom is not by any chance—“ and she says my mom’s full name. I go, “Yeah, that’s my mom!” And she starts crying. She explained that my mom has diagnosed her with dyslexia when she was 14, and then had taken her outside and they’d sat under a tree, and my mom had explained to her what it meant to have dyslexia and how she was finally going to get the instruction that she needed, and she’d learn how to read and go on to do whatever she wanted to in life. “She was the first person who told me I wasn’t stupid.” And here I was interviewing her for a book she’d written. Very typical of my mom to go all out like that. 😍

@thisisclouds_ Sounds like a skill issue

red rocks might be a one and done for me that prohibited item list is lame af 💀

Canadian: Let's watch a movie American: Have you seen Titanic? Canadian: What's that about? American: Yes, it was. A huge one that sank.

Gave my bf the nickname Will :) it’s short for Will you please fill my water bottle

Sorry baby, mommy can never own a home because she would buy 65 touch tunes credits every time she had 2 drinks in her

LaGuardia is a beautiful name for a baby girl

It's always "you have ADHD" and never "thank you for telling me 14 stories in 3 mins"

This wind is a very unfriendly wind :(

drunk off my ass, have not eaten ANYTHING all day, setting off fireworks. you might not like it but this is what peak multiculturalism looks like.

@CurttiMagurtti The doctor is his mother

The Red Hot Chili Peppers line “Can’t stop, addicted to the shindig” really speaks to me as one of the many Americans struggling with shindig addiction

Need a dessert in a hurry? Take a bag of Oreos and dump them on the floor and eat the Oreos off the floor like a animal you piece of shit

wait you guys

Baby bell cheese implies the existence of mother and father bell cheese

iykyk

Two girls pretending to get along because it’s their one mutual friend’s birthday

@johnsummit Also ketamine

the only thing that has killed the dancefloor imo is ppl trying to look nonchalant & cool instead of actually dancing & letting go

drank too much coffee and now instead of being energized I am just Scared

@bakwasbandkrein Devon

I'm pregnant and looking for a baby boy name that ends with “on” Help me out before my husband suggests Dragon again 🙂

what a milestone. Thank you to all my fans

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary