Jessica

Sure, horror movies are scary. But have you ever been in the shower washing your face and suddenly you *think* you hear the door open?

@LyricWrestling Agreed. Give it to NASA, and feed school kids.

I will literally never complain about my tax dollars going to NASA.

“why is the moon a she??” because NASA said so you little bitch

books are so cool because there are NO FUCKING ADS IN THEM

Streaming was a mistake.

@piccolobutt Not alone. I haven't been to Target in over a year.

Who else hates Target? I feel alone in this.

Sub shop employee: Ohhh you brought a book in. What ya readin? Me: *panic* Uh. It's a book I probably should have covered because it's very...ahem...adult. Her: Ah. I read those Court of Thorn and Roses books. Can't be that bad. Trigger warnings for Hunting Adeline:

If gas prices keep going up it will be cheaper to snort cocaine and run everywhere.

We should just hide the nuclear launch codes and pretend we can’t find them. “Oh man that’s weird. No, I haven’t seen them.” That’s what we did with the keys to my grandmother’s Honda CRV when it was time for her to stop driving.

When you take a nap so good you thought you missed the school bus but its Sunday and you're 41

I hope nobody see me eating by myself and feel sorry for me I’m having the time of my life

Space news is way better than Earth news.

@TheCinesthetic Skinamarink. But to be fair, I turned it off after 15 minutes. Because what the fuck was that?

What film made you say, "Holy shit there is still an hour left"?

@BellaBaddie__ Yep. That's how I grew up. And I'm an elder millennial. I'm not even Gen X.

Be Honest.. Did parents really just let their kids wander the neighborhood all day with no phone and just say... be back before dark?

Hello, Moon. It’s great to be back. Here’s a taste of what the Artemis II astronauts photographed during their flight around the Moon. Check out more photos from the mission: nasa.gov/artemis-ii-mul…

@chefsevenn We always had real mashed potatoes at home. I didn't start eating the bagged stuff until I was in my 30s.

Did your mom ever whip up mashed potatoes from scratch instead of using the boxed kind?

Here's to 43. I may look my age finally but at least I feel twice as old

@BrittanyinTexas @theliamnissan He's back. 😊

These are heavy times for everyone. @theliamnissan account is gone, and a lot of people are going to miss him. I know I will. 😢 Peace, brother.✌️

NOT FLAT…

Low-key jealous of the four astronauts who left the planet today.