stirlinger

everytime i see this comment thread i genuinely cry with laughter for 10 minutes straight i cant help it

once my ex cheated on me and the girl he cheated with contacted me and she was like, 'let me have him, this is the only time a conventionally attractive man has ever liked me'

I’m too sexy for this world

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette

@msiziworld MID COITUS????

Not in my house ‼️😥🙄

im at my clits end

i got laid :((((((

@PopCrave Wasn’t Trina Vega the other girl lol

Gary Marsh reveals Miley Cyrus almost wasn’t cast as Hannah Montana, with executives split until the final vote: “We cast for 11 months. We were down to the last two girls, and you were this 12 year old pistol and raw and real and fresh out of Tennessee. And you both left, there's 10 people in the room, and we took a vote. It was not a landslide. And people put forth their real opinion, and I had made a decision, and I wrote an email to the team. It said, 'we pride ourselves not just on creating great television, but on creating stars. I'm ready to pull the trigger on Miley. Is she a risk? Unquestionably true. Is she a potential star? Absolutely. And whatever comes of this decision, I'm thrilled that all of us will be able to sit down over a drink in a few years and remember this moment when we decided to forsake the safe route for the riskier one and the greater reward.’ That's what you did. You brought that out of them. That's what you brought to the table. That's why this was successful.”

Windy day puppy cakes

@namgyaruu Every time I leave the house I get scared I’ll die and this will happen but also i might have ocd

People who own sex toys are so brave because what if you just randomly die and your parents have to go through your dildo drawer Im dying

this tweet changed my life i’m not kidding

@clinton_emirate 100% Chinese

Is she Korean, Japanese or Chinese?

being weird all your life and always hiding parts of yourself to fit in and then meeting someone who actually likes u because of those weird parts rather than in spite of them is the most healing experience in i hope that all you little freaks in my phone also find this someday

@heyheybaobeii @awsten Me too and I know they took mine when I went to the bathroom but I was too non confrontational and I miss my AirPods💔

@awsten wait i’m happy you did this bc once as a teenager a woman on the plane did this to me and i was too shy to instigate

GUY ON MY FLIGHT JUST TRIED TO STEAL MY FUCKING AIRPODS IM LAUGHING SO HARD, I COULDNT FIND THEM FOR LIKE 30 MINUTES SO I DID THE *PLAY SOUND* OPTION IN FIND MY AND THEY STARTED BEEPING IN BROS BACKPACK ROW DIAGONAL BEHIND ME, HE LOOKED FREAKED AS HELL, UK IM DOING THIS 4 U! FUCK

@jujusosoft OH SHIT SHES ISRAELI

@jujusosoft What’s her TikTok @??

@poptropican_ @jujusosoft @Timorhib 😭

@lippydippynippy @jujusosoft You find it?

@jujusosoft who knows her handle??

@nickyn0mates What’re you talking about this is the most iPhone face I’ve ever seen

he's got that old hollywood type of beauty that you don't see anymore like this face card is a lost art...