Daniel Bateman

@CairnsTaipans These are sssssssstunning 🐍

We know you’ve been waiting…. Unveiling our uniforms for the 2025-26 season! 🐍 With the snake print of a Coastal Taipan, local elder Henry Fourmile complements the realistic pattern with a creative art piece made for the team - taking Cairns with us, wherever we go 🌴

@TOFOP @CXClausen SUPERcharged! 🌩

OK, I’ve now seen @gomeztheband more than any band live, and after all these years these blokes are always amazing. Awesome reworking of classics (LOVED what they did with Get Miles) and some quality new stuff. Regretted not getting some Handbags tunes to takeaway.

Nearly 12 months after Cairns’ emergency messaging system failed spectacularly in the wake of Cyclone Jasper, looks like still nothing has been fixed. Thankfully this is a false alarm

@Jenna_C_ @ottewellben Two weeks here in Cairns! Very excited. These guys are nearly locals they've performed here that often.

A chocolate teapot would be quite delicious if it were used for brewing matcha and you drank it quickly.

There are already independent audits of reef science. It's call "science".

Houndini 🪄🐾

Arisa was born in Cairns so I did this for the Post when she was selected for the Paris Olympics. What little champion.

The mayor of Townsville is in a bit of strife after exaggerating his military service and uni qualifications.

Easily the most funny Aussie movie I have watched in years. Get it up ya! jimschembri.com/hapless-lass-s…

@DenimAlley No, only in newspaper terms.

Quick research question for novel. Yes or No, do you know what is meant by 'a fifth column'?

@paulmcau This is brilliant, and should be handed out on leaflets at the airport

For the benefit of those who do not know the unwritten rules of being a Cairns pedestrian, here they are: smugly mansplained and (finally!) in writing. 🙂 🌴🚶 paulmc.au/f/pedestrian 🌴🚶

No longer able to rent movies from Telstra’s streaming service without a separate set top box. Hey @Telstra, stop trying to make Fetch happen!

Every now and then my “pun a day” calendar absolutely delivers 🪄🐶

The day has finally arrived: the Great CD Extinction Event is currently underway at JB Hi Fi.

Hey @10NewsFirstQLD your mid-commercial news updates in Cairns are 💩. Top story tonight is apparently “a giant of Cairns business has died”. That’s it. No name, no details, no nothing. Regional Australia deserves a better televised news service. @ABCmediawatch

@JesseKuch @Translink_QLD I gave a hitchhiking nurse a lift home yesterday because her bus never showed up. No ‘real time update’ via the app or website (she was checking regularly). No warning, no nothing. This is why no one takes public transport in regional QLD.

@Translink_QLD is real time tracking working on the buses atm? Doesn’t seem to be in my app.

The message is simple: don’t be a moron during The Big Wet. So many lives at risk - and not just these idiots - from stupid decisions.

I'm creating an "OnlyDans," where Dans get together to complain about being called "Dan the man, Daniel-san" and "Danny Boy" our whole lives.