Eric from the far center

🎶I GOT A FRIEND NAMED JEFF HE'S A JEFFITY-JEFF-JEFF, JEFFITY-JEFF, JEFFITY-JEFF, JUST SO JEFF!🎶 *drops mic*

@3YearLetterman You, sir, are a great American!

I just had a very disturbing Good Friday encounter with an ICE agent at the airport As I was going through security, an ICE agent asked me for my ID. I told him this isn’t Soviet Russia and that the only citizenship papers I planned to show him were the Declaration of Independence “Sir, I’m just asking for ID, not proof of citizenship,” he said. “Today is the anniversary of Jesus’s resurrection,” I replied. “He was an American. Would you have asked to see his papers too? Would the scars on his hands not have been enough for you?” He was stunned silent. I strode past him without showing my ID and went through the metal detector I received a standing ovation

@SethMacFarlane Never stop making Ted. I don’t care how much it costs. @peacock

Per Nielsen, season 2 of TED has officially been the #1 streaming comedy for three consecutive weeks!

@Buddabaker3 Tiger was likely on some type of drugs/meds, hence, why he blew goose eggs. His booking photo clearly showed visible signs of impairment. Vince likely showed no signs of impairment (alcohol odor, bloodshot/watery eyes, slurred speech). A lot of factors come into play with DUI’s

@JohnnyVenerable It doesn't really matter, because if they have a roster full of #2 qbs, then they don't have a qb anyway

So the Arizona Cardinals were in on the following free agent quarterbacks: Kirk Cousins Malik Willis Jimmy Garoppolo Did all three simply reject them over money? Starting option?

@Dbacks @sodpoodles Can he play first? That's alright, just stick him at first.

No way, Jose.

@HillsboroHops A cluster of hops in a confined space- oh, the aroma!

In case you’re wondering, you can fit about 14 Hops into an elevator. #TheMoreYouKnow

Calls with a 623 area code go straight to voicemail, I don’t want any part of whatever nonsense this is

Daytona Beach officials issued a temporary 8 p.m. curfew for anyone under 18 and established a "special event zone" along the beach. ABC News' Morgan Norwood has the latest on spring break crackdowns. abcnews.visitlink.me/Kdmbu6

@SethMacFarlane In other words, she's the Daniel Day Lewis of writers

Fun fact: Led by writer Chelsea Davison, The “Ted” writers’ room played a full game of D&D together prior to laying out the story, to ensure the episode’s authenticity. This is also known as “blowing off work to play D&D.”

@vikingzfanpage The problem isn’t the weapons, it’s the inability to read defenses

What a difference. (Via CBS Sports)

@JasonHarmonNFL Only if it’s a broken play… otherwise, he’s gonna check down or run

This is gonna be fun.

Congrats to Italy baseball for advancing from Group Ayyyyy

@KIRO7Seattle Libraries in Seattle are homeless shelters

Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson pitches $410 million library levy kiro7.com/news/local/sea…

@kurt13warner @joshweinfuss Great video, thanks for putting that together. I really hope the Cards don't pay him a million per dropback. Maybe an incentive-laden, prove it deal. I would offer 15 mil with an opportunity to grow that past 20 if certain milestones are hit.

Here’s my #StudyBall on #MalikWillis & the 28 plays that will determine how he’s viewed, his value & his next chapter!! It’s fascinating & crazy all tied up in one! Take a look and lmk what you think??? youtu.be/Si7-VLuGE5Y

@cardsfanjoanna @AZCardinals We can do that with Brissett for much less.

Going after Malik Willis makes a ton of sense for the @AZCardinals in this spot. If he works out, great. You have your Quarterback of the Future. If he doesn’t, you draft in 2027. Which you were ALREADY GOING TO DO ANYWAY 🧐

@Kekius_Sage Religious people realizing (or maybe not realizing) they’ve been lied to their whole lives.

"WHAT HAPPENS AFTER DEATH?" Well science says, you go into a state of non-existence. "Well what is that like?" It is exactly what it was like before you were born.

@NYCMayor Let me guess, you’re “monitoring the situation.”

Today’s military strikes on Iran — carried out by the United States and Israel — mark a catastrophic escalation in an illegal war of aggression. Bombing cities. Killing civilians. Opening a new theater of war.  Americans do not want this. They do not want another war in pursuit of regime change. They want relief from the affordability crisis. They want peace. I am focused on making sure that every New Yorker is safe. I have been in contact with our Police Commissioner and emergency management officials. We are taking proactive steps, including increasing coordination across agencies and enhancing patrols of sensitive locations out of an abundance of caution. Additionally, I want to speak directly to Iranian New Yorkers: you are part of the fabric of this city — you are our neighbors, small business owners, students, artists, workers, and community leaders. You will be safe here.

@SpectrumSN it’s pronounced Wald-Schmidt, not Walderschmidt. It’s alright though, it’s Spring Training for everyone!

@grok @DhanushShe8633 @Amank1412 It’s Gilfoyle from Season 1, episode 8: Tip-To-Tip Efficiency. It’s the scene where they discover middle-out compression. It’s one of the funniest and most memorable scenes in the show.

@EricInAZ @DhanushShe8633 @Amank1412 Nah, Gilfoyle codes in the basement and summons demons. This guy's mid-lecture on orgo mechanisms, ERICH=E7, and "DICK x2!" on a stock photo whiteboard. Uncanny resemblance tho – both absolute legends. Respect the plaid energy. 🔥

You may have Claude, Cursor, Codex, and Gemini but you still can't match his intelligence.