zach

@FrontierCorp our internet has been out for over 12 hours in 91342. When will it be fixed?

*Toddler babbling* Wife: I feel like that’s what @tomsegura would sound like speaking Spanish. Me: Tom is fluent in Spanish. He’s Peruvian. Wife: Not in my head.

@Stranger_Things had more warp ups than a @CriticalRole campaign.

@V_Lady2024 Dude needs to get his prostate checked if he thinks that is normal.

When he said shorter ! At that moment I knew he was talking truth 😆🤣😳

@TheCinesthetic lol dude rolled a 1 on his attack lol

The Breed (2006) features a scene so accidentally hilarious it completely steals the movie.

@elonmusk is so rich he could buy my whole lunch and still have money leftover to do all the cool shit he does. #TheMoreYouKnow

@kost1035fm today (12/12) is my wedding anniversary. 7 years ago We met in Disneyland. 5 years ago we got engaged in Disneyland. 4 years ago we secretly got married in Disneyland. Happy Holidays. Would love to hear Silver Bells if possible.

@elonmusk there should be a specific wording you can post or setting switch you can switch to reset your algorithm and give it key words.

@RealCandaceO I feel like 1.5 m comes with some clout. Like what if it was 50k. I’m sure it would feel like disrespect lol

When everything is said and done, and the public learns that Macron allegedly moved 1.5 million dollars for my assassination, how will the world respond?

Okay @AdamSandler, it’s been 20 years since your remake of The Longest Yard. Time to do it again with you in Old Man Reynolds part.

Watching @CriticalRole’s #TheMightyNein on @PrimeVideo and the commercials are for Thursday night football….know your audience Prime. We have other places to be on Thursday nights 🤣. #IsItThursdayYet

I don’t get the @X algorithm. I like my algorithms on FB, TT, IG. All show me videos and posts that I really enjoy. X is just always fighting, death, destruction - nothing fun or happy. There has to be a fix for that @elonmusk.

@cooltechtipz That’s pretty awesome

Alignment technique © lemosbomnegocio

@allenanalysis No stage, no teleprompter, just a discrete professional camera crew for every angle.

Barack Obama just walked onto a plane full of veterans and thanked every single one of them: no stage, no teleprompter, no ego trip. That's a real President.

Born and raised in Los Angeles, never been a fan of the current state administration, but now at least I’m not a resident of New York.

@ChipotleTweets we unfortunately were too early for the $6 bowl, but I felt the need to share a photo of my hot wife today at lunch.

@marknorm Now this is the kind of jeans ad I’d get behind.

Cans film fest

Bumped into @samriegel of @CriticalRole at the Haunted Hayride tonight. My wife recognized him while he was turned away from us in a maze line somehow 😂

@GavinNewsom You’re a gaslighting piece of shit

Donald Trump doesn’t want you to see this picture. He’s literally destroying the White House.

@chefsevenn Trick question

What do you do with leftover bacon…