Twinks

Chloe 18... Mum, did lads used to send you dick pics when you were a teenager? Me... Oh yeah, loads. They used to take a pic of their bits, nip down Boots, wait a week for it to be developed, catch the bus back to pick it up then fetch it to the Youthy on a Friday to show me.

@harryprecum1 Same to you, love 🎄

@tinytwink Honoured with a reply. My wife also same loss. And we share our birthday. Happy Christmas to you and yours!

2025 Round up … lost 3 and a half stone Gained a promotion House remains full of adult children and dogs 3 holidays taken and two booked. Shower tray remains broken because Jet 2 keep sending me more offers than B&Q.

@harryprecum1 Absolutely. Best thing I have ever purchased

@tinytwink Jabs??

Merry Xmas you filthy animals. Time for some gin and Home Alone. Gone are the days of wrapping at midnight and prodding a turkey every 5 minutes to see if it has defrosted 👍

@stephenrshaw I like living life on the edge 😂

@tinytwink 3 XL creampots lying prone on the top shelf, the top shelf of all places and with those flimsy lids. Not gonna sleep tonight 🫣

Right go on, piss off and have a bloody amazing Christmas. PS… the alcohol photo is reused from last year because this years is all still in bags. The double fridge died 4 years ago. Yes there is a large Lurpak. The turkey is currently under construction. #TwinksXmasFridge

Making chocolate bark like Mary fucking Berry.

@M4ttso Obviously

@tinytwink Your girlfriend’s?

@M4ttso As if that is mine, honestly

@tinytwink Almond milk? When did you turn Lesbian?

Upsated alcohol photo now I have finished going to 15 supermarkets and farm shops.

@JeanBarber Absolutely not mine 😂

@tinytwink Almond milk??!?! You’ve changed 🙄

@GLB_88 It’s not my first rodeo 😂

@tinytwink I love the booze caveat incase some psychotic walloper pipes up that it’s old.

@M4ttso @FannilyFortunes Ffs I was not however I am so shit at remembering to look in here

@FannilyFortunes You busy Saturday @tinytwink ?

This Saturday @ 9:30pm ……… 🎄 Festive Fannily Fortunes! 🎄 Be there or be somewhere else. But preferably there (here)

@mostly_grumpy It is already pjrchased and in the ‘second fridge’ ….

@tinytwink I’m looking forward to seeing the big Lurpak!

Stay tuned for #XmasFridge this time next week… You didn’t think I would let you down, did you?

@ojaxx2 @CookieDohDynamo @Footinit

@CookieDohDynamo @Footinit @tinytwink She was funny. Is she still about?

I like my Christmas trees like I like my men. Tall, thick and dead.

@mostly_grumpy Hahaaaa totally forgot about that 😂

@tinytwink I’m good too! I need help with my wrapping. Stop, collaborate and listen!

@mostly_grumpy Hahaa I am good thanks. You? Which tweet? 😂

@tinytwink Hope you’re well! I was thinking about you over the weekend because I was wrapping presents and thought of one of my favourite tweets ever!

Ellies case has made progress…

I have clothes all over the bed and the landing and my motivation has suddenly disappeared and I am sitting in the middle of it wearing some sunglasses a bikini top and pyjama bottoms.

We fly on sunday morning. Ellie has not packed. She has however chosen to leave an opened suitcase on the landing for the last three days and throw things in its general direction every now and again.