Canadian Tiger

Setting my clocks ahead several minutes hasn't helped me be more punctual, it only made me better at math.

It do be like that!😂😭😂

@MyLastChance8 It's disappearing, I'm afraid. I need to fatten up! 😅

@AddictedToNaps I like yours better

I watch Olympic volleyball for the sport.

Y'all worried about politics and Olympics. I'm worried shrinkflation is going to under stuff my Oreos.

When you realize how many Americans never learned Greek mythology.

@Donsterdamus "Autocorrect", not "Autocomplete". 🧐

@AddictedToNaps as soon as you type a word with E, the word without the P and F shows up? 🤨

What do you get when you take the p and the f out of perfection? Because my autocorrect sure knows the answer.

Privacy is power. What people don't know, they can't ruin.

@Sir82814803 I love that video! "Could be a deer, dough." 😆

@Sir82814803 I'll be honest. My friend who lives south of the border said this and I begged her if I could tweet it. But she and I are cut from the same cloth, so I'll accept your compliments. Thank you. 😉

@AddictedToNaps Perv But I like the way you think! Eh!

@MyLastChance8 I thought you were cooking. That would explain why you're a little farther from the stove than usual.

@AddictedToNaps Come inside and I'll give you the answer.

By the way, you can call me Your Excellency if you want.

@MyLastChance8 It's coming along... I swear!

Societies reset button must be a clit.

When you say goodnight to everyone but then you have to go back like an idiot👎

Well you crazy fuckers, I'm back. Now let's see how long it takes for my girlfriend to notice.

@Donsterdamus I laughed out loud at this!

@AddictedToNaps Can we die knowing your bra size too? 😱

I just fit into a pair of size six pants so I think we can all prepare for the apocalypse now.

@MyLastChance8 Don't worry. My phenomenal ass will melt all that.

@AddictedToNaps Those size 6 do look good on you. Thanks for the end times 🔥🔥