springtim ☀️🌺🌳

Don’t just prompt AI to make more paper clips, instead, teach it to yearn for a world of neatly filed documents

@iroasmas 🤣🤣🤣

(at secret omelas neighborhood meeting) man: look we all want to get rid of gary. nothing has worked. we need to brainstorm. now, no wrong answers—can anyone think of anything, anything at all, that would make gary walk away from omelas

@shakermanjonas @keyofgeo seems like a great idea to me! Where the haters at??

@timoshando @keyofgeo i'll out myself - babies pooping in the bathroom sink is goated they don't eat solids so it all washes off, and it means you don't have to wash a very dirty butt if you're grossed out keep a disinfectant spray under the sink it's fine

👶 first bath: feed, remove diapers, bath (in the sink - which he hated ofc) then dry and set him down on matt for new diaper and cute new outfit. We’re good at this already! Working as a team feels great - he looks so cute in this lil outfit! Then he did a massive shit 💀

@strangestloop diesel cars in cities, glass chopping boards, lights that are too bright, there are so many things!!

what are some good things to hate for someone just getting into hating things?

@_exoconnor @selflathing was 'meetup' for me...but was it the app? or the pre-pandemic timing? or where i was at in my own life? or are we just being foolishly nostalgic?

@selflathing @timoshando I miss the golden age of Facebook events so much

Partiful feature idea: reply ‘maybe’ 3 times and your phone explodes and you die

@selflathing Agree, I’d count them as ‘nos’ and I never take it personally. Post pandemic I’ve found people to be less willing to commit to IRL meet-ups sadly

@rebelempiricist our grandkids will marvel at stories like these

@timoshando A friend of mine dodged a number of tickets when the Japanese cops saw his face and said 'oh jesus a gaijin' and just waved him away.

English friend driving a borrowed car in NZ and thought NZ drivers were slow af Passed a cop - who pulled her over like 'wtf you doing??' Confused, she argued she was still under the speed limit...then saw cop staring at speedo (in mph...NZ is kph)💀 x.com/kramerposts/st…

@aleksil79 @Thomasdelvasto_ 🔥 🔥 🔥

@Thomasdelvasto_ @timoshando become a dad already, you have the sense of humor for it

how did the scarecrow become a millionaire?

@cookiecarver 🌲 ‘stop messing with Italian cuisine’

going to walk in nature today. i will see a lot of big trees. i wonder what secrets the trees will tell me this time...

@kramerposts Do a roly poly! (Otherwise known as a ‘forward roll’)

Mutuals. You may issue me a challenge or quest. I may decline or accept. These are my terms.

so happy for my Hungarian friends 🇭🇺

@michaeltong_ Thank you Michael 🙏

@timoshando 🫶🏼🫶🏼

here’s why I can’t make Jesscamp how bout you?

@cookiecarver We’ve been here before cookie! x.com/timoshando/sta…

forgive me italians for i have made chinese pasta and i will do it again and again and again

she 2’d on my factor till I authenticated

@aliceisplaying @paularambles congratulations 🎉

@paularambles incredible day

don’t forget to congratulate your hungarian friends today

@5matthewdub Thank you Matthew 🙏🙏🙏

@timoshando CONGRATULATIONS 🎉

@MattiasInSpace thanks Mattias! 🙏

@timoshando Thanks! Congrats on becoming a Dad!!

Tread softly and carry a big dream.

@trollie_problem @thomson_xyz I like the ‘sensitive but sexy new man’ bit 😜

@thomson_xyz @timoshando lmao

@trollie_problem Yeeeeeeeeeeeeees!!!! 🙏

@timoshando AHHHHhHhHHHHHHHH