Jordan "Descend"

NEW: India-born residents have officially become Australia’s largest migrant group, overtaking the English for the first time.

NEW - New data from Australian Bureau of Statistics shows Indian-born residents are now Australia's largest foreign-born population, surpassing UK born residents, who had formed the largest single cohort of foreign-born residents at any one time, since 1901.

TWO KINGS. 👑

Dear Muslims of the Australia. My family and I have decided to move to a Muslim country. We haven’t picked which one yet — we’re still shopping for the best benefits package. Obviously, all my neighbours want to come too. And their neighbours. And their mates. And their mates’ mates. Before you know it, half of Australia will be turning up with suitcases and a vague sense of entitlement. As a large Christian community, we’ll need a few small adjustments: Please start building churches immediately. Proper ones with bells. Loud bells. We’ll also need certain streets closed once a year for our processions. Don’t worry, it’s not five times a day — we’re not animals. Every supermarket must stock proper pork, bacon, sausages, and baked beans. We are a minority now, so you’ll just have to be understanding and accommodating of our way of life. We’re bringing all the dogs. Expect many happy Labradors shitting on your pavements. You’ll need dog parks, and you’ll need to smile while we walk them past your mosques. While we’re at it, your religious holidays are a bit… much. They might offend the Christian community, so we’d appreciate it if you could quietly bin them. Thanks. In schools and workplaces, our children and staff must be allowed to wear large crucifixes, eat ham sandwiches in the canteen, and generally radiate Christian vibes without anyone clutching their pearls. We also demand prayer rooms in every building, plus translators because we can’t be bothered learning Arabic. If any of this is refused, please send a list of police station addresses so we can report you for discrimination, Christianphobia, and general nastiness. One more thing: if my kids burn your flag because Australis just won at football, please be understanding. I’ll give them a really stern telling-off. Maybe even make them write “sorry” 50 times. Finally, we’d like generous benefits, free housing, and pocket money while we “integrate” over the next three generations. Work is optional, obviously. Appreciate your tolerance in advance. After all, diversity is our strength! Yours faithfully, A Very Reasonable Christian

LGBTQI+ Influencer Joseph Hughes MOCKS childbirth as he poses in hospital bed while picking up his 3rd surrogate child. The influencer posed in a hospital bed while pretending to give birth while picking up his new baby boy from the mother.