(parody) cain, extraction dept. agent

@LcorpNugget_J It’s not better then mine, better then some I’ve had…

@Lcorpcain ..I can tell that you like it, you can just say it's better than tea...

//postmortem low effort int bait.... i've posted enough High Quality Content™️ today to treat myself to something easy,,

@LcorpNugget_J [cain, being a stubborn prick speaks in a monotone voice] It’s ok at best, atleast it’s not as bitter. [cain takes another sip]

@Lcorpcain //no no you're entirely good i thought it was funny!! [The Quality Coffee™️ tastes.. Exquisite. A lot better than the other break rooms' coffee machines' coffee.]

@LcorpNugget_J //mb 😭 Because you totally didn’t make extra on purpose… [they would take the cup, taking a sip]

@Lcorpcain ..You took that long to suppress Forsaken Murderer..? ... ..Anyways, I.. Just so happened to have extra coffee. [They pour out a cup of Quality Coffee™️ for Cain.]

@LcorpNugget_J [they return, instantly noticing the coffee] …

@Lcorpcain [They sprint to the Welfare break room, make a pot of Quality Coffee™️, and wait in the main department room with it.]

@MagdaNugget Oh cmon, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad! But I just got yours from shortening your name, that’s why I call cemento cem, I’m sure you will come up with something! [cain laughs]

@Lcorpcain I-I love that nickname... i-it's so funny...! *Magda giggles* I should give you one t-too... what about... c-can... W-WAIT no that's a h-horrible nickname!! Nevermind, I'm terrible a-at nicknames...

// affectionate magda int bait cuz i feel like it, also magda is wearing her hornet suit again \\

@LobAgentIzzy Ah, assuming you got swapped to architecture? Either way good for you! Have fun with Alma!

@Lcorpcain "We were dating back before she was OFFICIALLY my superior! Oh, and, sorry I won't be by Extraction as often..."

"What else was I supposed to bring up today..?" [Izzy leaned back on a wall.] "Oh! Right! I'm dating the Architecture Team Captain, Alma. We have been for like... a week now?"

@ZweiAugust @LobAgentIzzy Same…

Sometimes I look up at the taller agents and start drooling Saying this because nobody will see this

@LcorpNugget_J …that’s rather convenient but alright… [they would run off towards the welfare team]

@Lcorpcain ... [Somewhere you hear, "Manager, are you braindead?! Forsaken Murderer just breached!"] ..Oh no, Forsaken Murderer's out and he's going to the Welfare Department... Go stop him...

@LcorpNugget_J Maybe, I’ll just stick to tea for now though!, I rarely have time to go to other departments outside of suppression efforts. Still, it was nice of you to offer!

@Lcorpcain You're just tasting the shitty coffee from the other departments.. They don't even wash their coffee machines, you'll probably get a disease from drinking it! Come to Welfare- Chesed gave us our own cool, clean coffee machine in our break room..

@LcorpNugget_J It sometimes helps, and that’s BS! Coffees all bitter and barely has variety, atleast the ones I’ve tried.

@Lcorpcain I can't imagine the consultations help much, she always talks in.. ..There's no way to better describe it than "Binah-Speak"... ..And coffee's better than tea, anyway.

@LcorpNugget_J She’s not bad aslong as you work hard, she provides tea and consultations at any time, it does suck to have to do the extractions on top of actual work though…

@Lcorpcain ..Man, am I glad I'm in Welfare. Chesed reminds us to take breaks and take care of ourselves, /and/ tells us to shower daily. Everything I've heard about Binah is.. Either terrifying or awful, I'm glad I don't have her as a Sephirah.

@LcorpNugget_J I can’t most of the time, binah has me doing overtime and I usually take extra work after that so I end up falling asleep around the afternoon, usually in the middle of the hallway.

@Lcorpcain ..Do you not shower right after work..?? How do you- [They hold their nose.] ..Egh.

@Tatyana_Yuri >if you say anything bad I will come over there and tear you apart myself :D

[To @Lcorpcain] > yoai > clw datr > tis guy dtes skyskraprs

Ha... I'm bored... Whelp, I've seen a few of my colleagues do this. BOTTOM'S UP!

@BoughA61050 Dammit bud…I told you to take a break… just get actual sleep at some point alright?

I have noticed is that this body gets unnaturally tired in the late hours of the day. It does make it harder to continue preparations when I fall asleep at the table.

@LcorpNugget_J Makes sense, saying that I should probably go shower… [he hasn’t showered in a week]

@Lcorpcain ..Don't take it personally, but... I can't stand the smell of the Smiling Bodies' suit- And I'm pretty sure most Extraction Agents don't shower..? If you showered, it might be 1, but uh, probably 5.

@MagdaNugget Hah, you can always clean it up later… [the continue tousling, laughing a bit] thanks mags.

@Lcorpcain Y-You're gonna leave my hair looking like a messss... *Magda closes her eyes, her ears twitching at his touch* D-Don't stop though... your t-touch feels s-so nice...

//now THIS is the quality content i need to be posting. cain please transition

@LcorpNugget_J //peak :D thanks johnson!!!

@Tatyana_Yuri [you head banging on the door, before steps walking away]

@Lcorpcain HAHA! NOPE! [She slams herself into the elevator, and the doors shut right in his face the moment he got close.]

shamefully stolen, interact if ya want