Nathan Hunter

@_TeamDolly But it proves I was there*! *Logged in to meeting while playing FreeCell, scrolling [SITE REDACTED], doing actual work, etc

@POOPSCRUFFIN4U Reasons to hire a calligrapher for your invitations

letting my sister know I feel about her bringing her kids to my wedding by referring to them as "glorified cumstains"

here's 3 hot summer affirmations for you: 1) I thirst for myself 2) I stan myself 3) Please, help me

Normalcy has returned: just got notification from the CDC saying that with restrictions lifting, I am no longer a responsible civic-minded sheltered-in-place citizen, I am now officially reclassified as the same sad, socially awkward shut-in I've always been.

EDIBLE ALTERNATIVES

How is it that, in this transition between plastic straws and paper straws, neither @Twizzlers nor @RedVines have stepped up with viable alternatives?

Capitalism takes away from the purpose of life

@thomdunn Atreides Nuts

@buffaloirons @qdoba Habanero has too many syllables.

@nickminnow And some of us will, brazenly and cluelessly, continue their outdated look into retirement.

Happy Valentine’s Day! 💕 We wanted to share our appreciation for you with a Giveaway 😍 Like and retweet this tweet and you will have the chance to win a special prize pack from us. One winner will be announced tomorrow morning. 💝 #ValentinesDay #discgolf #innovadiscs

@NESpower 90 minutes without power in Lakewood. Our house is getting cold.

Joel Olsteen wouldn’t have let anyone through those doors.

@jrlind Turns out, this sign was in the ladies' dorm

@thecroftonshow Quilted Northern ™ ballots

TRUMP 2020: Creeks and Wastepaper Baskets

@jtmeares This year has really cemented my emotional dependence on Joe Pera. @JosephPera

Current toddler meltdown: she doesn't want PIZZA she wants CHEESE on BREAD

@DashEaves @JarrettBellini @ProjectLincoln Thanks, this video gave me brain parasites

The President of the United States is an idiot.

@lucastypes #Unpresidented

NEW BAND NAME ALERT! #PersonWomanManCameraTV #10to15Flushes #HumanScum #WirchHunt #Hyphenpostrophe #OfWhichTheMoonIsAPart #SmockingGun #Individual1 #YourFavoritePresident #ReallyStableGenius #Covfefe #WithFewExceptions #AmericanCarnage #BowlingGreenMassacre #AlternativeFacts