David Sinclair

@scrowder get a sweet endorsement deal?

@SteveMartinToGo Maybe on his grave but that’s part of a regimented exercise program.

@CraigCaplan Anything that hides her face has to be an improvement.

House Speaker Pelosi announces from the chair the new House chamber mask wearing requirement during COVID-19 pandemic: "Members and staff will be required to wear masks at all times in the Hall of the House except that members may remove their masks temporarily when recognized."

Tonight in Hampton, NH. Should be a fun show.

Hard to tell if I recorded this 30 years or 10 minutes ago...

@RoyalCaribbean I just got ripped off by Royal Caribbean!!! Do NOT go on this line unless you want to have your money stolen. RCCL canceled my cruise and can’t give me a clear answer on when I will get ALL MY MONEY BACK. BUYER BEWARE!!!!

@robreiner But...but...but...Don’t you know the same things about Biden?

Why are we seeing so many toilet paper ads on TV? Are they afraid they’re going to lose the hoarder market?

Grocery store is out of meat, chicken and toilet paper. Bars, theaters and comedy clubs are closed. At least I still have my fidget spinner.

@WhatTomThinks Sounded like a beer endorsement. Too capitalist.

@DaveSinclairFun What was wrong with coronavirus?

Apparently we’ve decided that “Chinese Virus” is racist and the correct term is “Covid-19 Virus”. So anyone else up for “Covid-19 Takeout” tonight?

Went to a local store to get some supplies. Saw a few people wearing masks. It’s New Bedford and they were Super Hero masks so life here is still pretty normal.

Hi! You should watch @TeamCoco tonight at 11pm on TBS.

@MochaAnthony A jug of Mocha Anthony, a loaf of bread and a calendar beside me.

I just realized that my dog only protects my house because he needs the healthcare.

Imagine if our elected representatives fought harder for us than they do for power. Support term limits. #NoIncumbents

Despite what Bruce Willis has said, if you search Christmas Movies on Amazon Prime the results include Die Hard. Discuss.

My luck is so bad that I predict that the day after I die they will discover the secret to immortality.

The Open Mic @ Mikey B’s is in for tonight.

Today is #NationalSTEMDay! Let's continue to inspire students to pursue careers in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics - our future depends on them! 👩‍🔬👨🏽‍🚀👩‍💻