Tom Stewart

Look for me on Threads @tomstewartcomedy Peace out Twitter ✌️

@WhiteHouse We just want healthcare!

“I am pleased to announce that TODAY my Administration officially filed the presentation and plans to the highly respected Commission of Fine Arts for what will be the GREATEST and MOST BEAUTIFUL Triumphal Arch, anywhere in the World. This will be a wonderful addition to the Washington D.C. area for all Americans to enjoy for many decades to come!” - President DONALD J. TRUMP

@CollinRugg No one talks like that. Where is this "letter"?

NEW: Alleged Charlie Kirk assassin Tyler Robinson wrote a handwritten letter to his boyfriend admitting to killing Kirk, according to newly unsealed court documents. The search warrant affidavit says Robinson sent his boyfriend a text that read: "drop what you are doing, look under my keyboard." Underneath the keyboard was allegedly a handwritten note that read the following: "If you are reading this per my text, then I am so sorry. I left the house this morning on a mission, and set an auto text." "I am likely dead, or facing a lengthy prison sentence. I had the opportunity to take out Charlie Kirk, and I took it." "I don’t know if I will/have succeeded, but I had hoped to make it home to you. I wish we could have lived in a world where this did not feel necessary."

Happy Power Plant and Bridge Day everyone. 🐰

@AB84 Exercise, sleep, fresh air, healthy foods, pet some dogs.

Without drugs... what is the greatest weapon against anxiety and depression?

@PUBG This is nothing short of propaganda. Nothing is being done about cheaters. I see them every game I play. This is nothing but false PR. The cheaters know PUBG is the only game you cam cheat and not worry about being caught.

The 2026 Anti-Cheat Roadmap is here. Stronger detection, smarter prevention, and continued action against repeat offenders. Watch the full Roadmap on YouTube. 👉 pubg.promo/2026PubgAntiCh… #PUBG #BATTLEGROUNDS #2026Roadmap #AntiCheat

The last thing Chuck Norris kicked was the bucket.

@Angry_Staffer Where was DOGE for this one?

It’s looking increasingly likely that Kristi Noem and Lewandowski funneled almost 200 million in government money to a company that is run by her friend and that nobody can give an address for. Oh, and it was 8 days old when it was awarded the contract.

@grok are the Iranian people celebrating the latest events in their country?

@Matt_Pinner Tums

Ketchup isn’t available, what are you adding to this?

@james_xond Probably go pee like every morning.

If you woke up a billionaire tomorrow, what would you do first? Be honest, please.

@reidhoffman But you knew. And you still kept attending meetings and possibly business deals with him.

I only knew Jeffrey Epstein because of a fundraising relationship with MIT, which I very much regret. In 2019 I told Axios the last meeting I had with him was in 2015 but I was mistaken, as according to calendar entries I have become aware there were additional fundraising meetings in 2016 and 2018. These meetings were all coordinated by Joi Ito, then director of the MIT Media Lab: Apr 8, 2016, Meeting in Palo Alto Apr 29, 2016, Meeting w/ Joi Ito from MIT in Cambridge June 20, 2016, Skype Call June 25, 2016, Skype Call July 24th, 2016, Meeting w/ Joi Ito from MIT and Martin Nowak in Cambridge Mar 24, 2018, Skype Call w/ Joi Ito from MIT I have done multiple calendar searches, and if I find any other meetings, I will continue to share them. The victims of Epstein’s abhorrent and vile actions deserve all the information they are seeking, and I continue to call on President Trump to deliver that for them.

@Gene3713 Make IDs free and easy to obtain, then you can require IDs to vote. Otherwise it is nothing more than a Republican scheme to supress certain citizens from their Right to Vote.

DEMOCRATS AND THUNE ARE PRO-CHEATER!

@FlossG0d Theres few things more disappointing then finding the DBS 🤣

TAKE THE DBS OUT OF THE CARE PACKAGES 🤦🏽‍♂️ #pubg

@KSnKickstart I always see a huge difference after 11pm. Glad its not just me.

Playing TPP past 11pm really makes you wonder if PUBG anti-cheat clocks out for the night.

@BellaBaddie__ Anything by Halestorm

** MEN & MEN ONLY ** Tell me a song by a woman you sing with your whole chest

@therobertbrooks Can you write off the 2k as a business expense?

I got audited for 2022 taxes and the IRS told me I owed like 17,000 in taxes. I didn't owe them anything. I sent every piece of evidence and written explanations of every dollar. The rejected my response, charged more interest and said I owed them 19k now. Even though it took them 11 months to respond. Had to get a CPA to send a response saying the same thing I said. Cost me $2k for that. Just got a letter which basically says, ahh.. nevermind.. we are closing the audit. Very happy I don't have to pay off the US government to get them to leave me alone. Not very happy I can't bill them the $2k and about 4 fulls days of my own labor that I had to spend to tell them they are incompetent.

@MizzyMogs Yo🎮

If your birth year starts with a 19 and you're still gaming check in 🫡

@Ford_Nick 2 ribeyes!

Name one thing better than a ribeye..

@PUBG I dont believe a word of this. The cheaters are everywhere. Ranked play is pretty much ruined. You wont ban the cheaters cuz you want their money.

We’re reflecting on the key anti-cheat actions and improvements made this year and sharing what’s ahead for 2026. Read the latest Anti-Cheat Dev Letter for the full details. 👉pubg.com/news/9634

@lady_valor_07 Tums

Fries aren’t available, what are you having with this burger?