Ross G Palmer

Sunderland AFC confirms that Marc Guiu has returned to Chelsea Football Club. Wishing you well, Marc! 👊

@fesshole Ewe are joking…

I was asked to make a lamb cake for Easter. I assumed it was a Spring version of a pork cake, so I bought lamb mince and suet and baked them into a fruit cake. Apparently they wanted a sponge cake in the shape of a lamb, with decoration. Tasted lovely, though.

@Altogether_ST @My_Metro We’ve got all the trains running. Just not to the timetable you’d expect.

What a surprise. Last few months have been ridiculous. Travelled all over the world and never known a service so bad. @My_Metro

@BrewDog @YodelOnline You asked if I wanted a refund or a replacement order. I answered and you’ve not responded? Am I getting my beer I ordered two weeks ago or not??? Again… what’s gannin on @BrewDog ???

@Designer_Ross @YodelOnline Hey Ross - really sorry about this. Can you please drop us a direct message with your order info? We'll get this looked into.

@BrewDog Hi my order from the 8th hasn’t been delivered by @YodelOnline (shock horror) and it’s apparently been sent back to you. According to them I need to contact you. But no one is replying to emails and I’ve no beer and I’m out of pocket. What’s gannin on? 🤷‍♂️

@BrewDog @YodelOnline 👀👀👀

@BrewDog @YodelOnline Sent

Mind you… @BrewDog states they will reply within 72 hours… SEVENTY TWO HOURS. How many problems must you have where as a company you think replying to a customer within 72 hours is acceptable. Improve your logistics, your product, or hire more people. Ffs man. 🫣😂🫣😂

@SunderlandAFC @hummel1923 TAKE MY MONEY

Thoughts on our new @hummel1923 away shirt, then? 💭

@fesshole Some might say that’s a bit petty…

Interviewed an 18 year old lad yesterday who smuggly made a point he was going to the opening night of Oasis at Wembley. He wasn't even a twinkle in his dad's eye during their heyday. I'm not going because of kids like this jumping on the bandwagon so he's not getting the job.

@maxrushden Names on shirts. Why?

Question for radio Klopp called club World Cup ‘the worst idea in football history’ What is the worst idea in football history?

We now cross over to BBC Radio Derby.

@trussliz @Keir_Starmer How’d that work out again?

I am the only Prime Minister who has sought to take on the broken system. That is why I am relentlessly attacked by @Keir_Starmer, who is their ultimate creature. It won't work. The public can see through this.

@emzyoung123 549 and I’m shaking like a shitting dog.

Anyone in block 547 received their tickets yet? I know others from the 500s have and I’m getting anxious that something’s wrong🤣 just need confirmation that someone from my block hasn’t got them yet hahaha #safc #sunderland #sunderlandafc #wembley

@fesshole Worked in libraries 20 odd years ago. Most had maximum fines of 4/6 weeks. Well done for saving about £6.40 and wasting your local authorities time and money you absolute whopper.

I once lost a library book. To get out of paying the fine I took a job at the library, returned the book on the system and quit a week later.

@fesshole Piss off.

Recently fulfilled a longstanding fantasy and had a sexual partner piss on me. She was clearly very dehydrated as it was very "thick" also smelled very strongly of chicken gravy. Not the experience I was hoping for, won't be doing that again anytime soon.