Steven Davison

so I got arrested in Colombia… 👇👇👇👇👇👇 youtu.be/6ABd-Wlbjqs

@facetedcarapace Just like Americans not knowing that Jonas Brothers covered Year 3000. It’s actually by a huge British band called Busted

A lot of British pop and rock music makes it to the United States but it's really funny when something huge in the UK has zero name recognition here and they're like "How do you Yanks not know 'One Last Snog for Santa' by Gary Heath and the Hempstead Fudge!? '

@cadlymack People have become so used to all their media preaching messages at them that when a film is just a film they assume any bad actions in the film are still messages at them rather than just a fucked up thing a character did

Why does everyone think that all movies are supposed to be educational? She’s a messed up kid who took the nude photos to seduce a 50 year old married man. Fucked up characters who do fucked up shit are not intended to be your role models. You are supposed to have a brain.

Hello @LloydsBank Please reply to my DM.

Robbie Williams officially breaks the record for most #1 albums by any artist in UK chart history, surpassing The Beatles (16).

Woman says she tried a method and showed cats around the neighborhood a picture of her missing cat to "spread the word" and shortly after her cat returned

@ag6promo Twitter is going to Twitter

i finally gave in and watched this clip… are we all going through mass psychosis or

Anyone want to buy my 2-day VIP ticket for Orlando Warped Tour? Collection at will call.

@VansWarpedTour Anyone want to buy my 2-day VIP ticket? Drop me a follow and I’ll DM you

ORLANDO! we’re celebrating 30 years of Warped 🥹 saying thank YOU with a free sticker pack + patch 🖤swing by the sticker pack booth to grab ur goodies!

@dotColinn “Run Barry, run!”

this is cool and all but nothing will top this grodd moment

@mikej_24 “Lazy punditry” for thinking you’d struggle after selling your best players and losing your manager

It’s just lazy punditry. If two/three players were the key to our success since being the Prem, we’d have been down in the first season. You should know that given our annual three points at the Bridge 🫡

@kurtcaz1 You definitely duck for cover and call 999 when a car backfires

Menacing people in London 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

@ConcreteOmens Industry plant who’s been successful in several genres over 20+ years, had a UK number 1 album last year and has been on a UK arena tour for the past 2+ months?

Tell me he’s not a fucking industry plant

@Glinner When you're finally getting some people on side, why would you then reveal what a now-deceased friend told you in confidence just to try point scoring.

Also, Sean Lock once confided with me that a certain Irish comedienne/actress was an absolute pain in the arse on '8/10 Cats' because she was a woke NPC and took offence at every other joke. I'll leave you to guess who it was.

@PopBase It’s American Football, not rugby

Taylor Swift tells Jimmy Fallon why she hasn’t done the Super Bowl halftime show yet: “We’re always able to tell [Jay-Z] the truth, which is that like, I am in love with a guy who does that sport on that actual field. Like, that is violent chess. That is gladiators without swords, that is dangerous. The whole season I am locked in on what that man is doing on the field. Can you imagine if like he’s out there every single week like putting his life on the line, doing this very dangerous, very high pressure, high intensity sport and I’m like, ‘I wonder what my choreo should be.’ […] And this is nothing to do with Travis, he would love for me to do it. I’m just too locked in.”

@ibzsmo3k Reece pushing him towards the fans at the end like “Bro you fucking earned this”

The perfect video exists.

@thisiswargasmuk Hello! I suddenly became homeless and moved to Colombia, I have two tickets. If anyone wants to buy them off me for like £20 I’d love it?

𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐍 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆. livenation.co.uk/event/wargasm-…

@netflix Mae Martin is great 🙌

The type of show where they say "Not a whole lot happens around here" and then literally everything happens 🤌 Wayward is now playing.

@ghostamanita Hot Milk

EVERYBODY SAY YOUR FAVORITE FEMALE FRONTED BANDS *WITHOUT* SAYING PARAMORE AND EVANESCENCE CHALLENGE GO!11!!1!!1!

@AutismCapital Honestly if more of the left/right gave credit to the other in situations where it’s deserved we wouldn’t be where we are right now

🚨JIMMY KIMMEL: "I want to thank the people who DON'T support my show but support my right to share those beliefs anyways. People who I never would have imagined: Ben Shapiro, Clay Travis, Candace Owens, Mitch McConnell, Rand Paul, and even Ted Cruz... Even though I don't agree with many of those people on most subjects, some of the things they say even make me to throw up, it takes courage for them to speak out against this administration, and they did, and they deserve credit for it."

Fortune teller: (flipping tarot card) Ooh. The fat bastard. Don't see that one often Me: is that good