Greta Gaybo

Sorry to disappoint any new followers, but mostly I just drink wine with my cats and tweet snarky things about D-list celebrities.

I'd like to think there's a some universe out there in which Chappel Roan roams the streets looking for children to yell at. Inspiring.

@ape_descendent @sueytweets Yeah, basically! And apparently asses are fine, just no dicks.

@robcoco @sueytweets So just extremists, bots & snuff films, eh?

When will I be allowed to see a penis on Twitter again?

@DeeeTeeeEsss @Mr_Fanta_Pants Hahaha!! That's so good!

@robcoco @Mr_Fanta_Pants youtu.be/Ht78E9JetXU?si…

I need an outfit that says "I'm not a whore but I'm not a virgin either" - it's for a funeral.

@DeeeTeeeEsss @Mr_Fanta_Pants Oh, you've got me onto something now.

@robcoco @Mr_Fanta_Pants I know! A hoot! She also loves to crash a wedding 🤣

@DeeeTeeeEsss @Mr_Fanta_Pants Oh my godddddd hahahaha!! "Thank you Addison Rae" killed me.

@Mr_Fanta_Pants @robcoco Maybe this will help with inspiration. And if not, it’s fucking funny anyway. youtu.be/Y14mdmxliFg?si…

@sueytweets I haven't verified my age, so I think I'm stuck with the children's version of twitter

@robcoco I didn’t think they were banned?

@ThisIsCorey I have no regrets.

@robcoco This not a sometimes movement?

Turned down a hookup to drink red wine and play my guitar. Please, Death, take me and release me from this cruel existence.

@ThisIsCorey Sometimes.

@robcoco I mean, sometimes that is a better choice.

Gay people telling stories to their nieces and nephews are like "DL trade took my virginity several times that night, and I never saw him again."

@Mr_Fanta_Pants Black, I assume?

@robcoco A mourning jockstrap seems appropriate.

@Spanners_cat That's exactly what I'm going for.

@lorelostit @MandyKerr !!!

new höhlengleichnis just dropped

@mikeyjj I would watch the hell out of that show.

@robcoco I can see a TV show - Trade’s Grand Designs. They spend 2 years building the place and bankrupting themselves, then go over for a one night stand and rate both.

I hooked up with this guy a few weeks ago who had a really gorgeous apartment and while I'm not really interested in him at all now, I'm thinking of reaching out to him just so I can go over and admire his place again.

@MandyKerr Yis.

Gin?

Are you there grok? It’s me, an idiot