e m i l y

Mostly jealous that the UK can take 6 weeks to realize that they've made a mistake but women in the US can't.

i thought this was a riddle

@TweetsByTSD i’ve been craving a classic i’ve never seen.

@twinnerdos Oh fuck yeah. What a treat

it might not be 2001, but i am watching 24 for the first time

My 8yo had the audacity to ask me why I cross my legs when I sneeze. You, dude. You are the reason.

dont let anyone pressure you out of ordering chicken tenders and fries at a restaurant, you are valid

There should be a second horn in ur car to let someone know they are doing a very good job

Wicked on the West End having to open its show last night with "GOOD NEWS! SHE'S DEAD!" as the literal first words of the performance is an unbelievable awkwardness that will truly never be duplicated.

man, i wish i paid attention to last 6 minutes of this character explaining the plot of this new elf show, instead of reading my timeline

Cut people out of your life who aren’t enjoying the Don’t Worry Darling stuff. Huge red flag. It’s objectively funny and the fact that the movie is not good is the ultimate punchline

Just got home from a @PinegroveBand concert in downtown Charlotte. Everyone jammed. Fun was had by all. Whats a concert you went to where the band sounded even better in person?

There's a "Museum of Failure" in Sweden which highlights 150+ failed products. It's meant to show that innovation requires risk-taking and failure. Here are 10 gems you may not remember:

A significant storm has just passed through Cincy and NKY, causing a high number of outages. @DukeEnergy crews will begin damage assessment and restoration as soon as its safe. Here’s a reminder of the process.

5 yo, singing quietly to himself "watermelon sugar - why? watermelon sugar- why?”

hi 👋🏼 any chance we could get a RACI that covers the current federal government? it seems like the team could use a reset.

you can tell how white a city is by how many cameras they have on traffic lights at intersections

why do sour skittles make you sweat

someone just sneezed on tv, and i said "bless you" out loud

someone plz write a thesis on how summer house on bravo is just a show about how millennials learn to be the best version of themselves by having GenZ slowly take their place as the leading generation on the show right before their eyes