soulonwacks

@byjoelanderson All these headlines make me want to eat there

keeping up my own personal streak of never having seen a good headline about the turkey leg hut and the people who opened it. houstonchronicle.com/news/houston-t…

@lepa_vale Would watch

Sex and the City but make it Mexican in Pilsen, Chicago.

@Sarah4Texas I can’t regulate you

“If you’re saying you can’t regulate it that’s because you don’t want to.” #HB5 #txlege

@langleydew Realizing everyone does helped me

Ugh I keep making dumb small mistakes at work and it is SO frustrating. Anyone conquer a bad habit of doing this and what helped?

@nut_history I make the league minimum

What’s your favourite one liner from Major League

@colincowherd Us or her

17 years of tolerating my nonsense.

@fedupwithbs513 That’s right!

Happy Friday, friends! I can’t wait to vote for our next president! #KamalaAndTim #deadheads

@stucknut Ladies and gentlemen gentleman of the jury. I’m 52 years old... AAAAAAAAT!! We don’t like that call. Not a very good call.

I was released. I think it's because the DA asked me "what would you do if a mother called, complaining about her out-of-control teenaged daughter?" and I said "in the words of the great Mike Forbes..."

Doing my jury duty. I'm thinking about telling the judge to exempt me because I have to archive a nationally syndicated sports talk radio show that is live from Southern California.

@JayCuda @acontinuouslean is this about right?

and here is the no. of golf courses by longitude

@jimrome The huge one.

WORLD PREMIERE: My first pitch from 28 years ago TODAY at Jack Murphy Stadium!

@Reds Hasn’t he been in rehab?

The #Reds today sent IF Noelvi Marte to Triple-A Louisville on a rehab assignment.

@BradinCorona Last Friday was dong day apparently

When my wife asks me why I keep calling in to win the Smackoff every year.

@erindick @christen_rexing Looks like you are in quite a pickle!

I need to go food shopping. Until then, I’m standing at my counter eating Kimchi like it’s a meal. Adulting is hard. Also, let’s discuss the wind today. wtf

@jen_rice_ Jen rice shrimp party pie of course!

@jen_rice_ Pls don’t bs us. How often are they on their phones?

good morning from harris county commissioners court. there are 410 items on the agenda & this is county judge lina hidalgo's first meeting back since taking medical leave to receive treatment for clinical depression

@wwornwwell 1998 called. They want the shirt of the year back.

Me: Alright. That’s it. No more impulse purchases of things I’ll probably never actually wear. The internet:

@thejazzestate The cutting edge

What is your favourite Sonny Rollins album? 1. Saxophone Colossus (1957) 2. The Bridge (1962) 3. Thelonious Monk and Sonny Rollins (1956) 4. Next Album (1972)

@jen_rice_ You scooped them all

trial just ended & i'm just sitting here in disbelief that there was so little media coverage of a trial to *throw out an election* in the third largest county in the U.S.

@Pacers Wayman and the rifleman

who made you a Pacers fan?

@jen_rice_ I thought I caught a whiff last night. Brought back the memories