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@nuel_szy Bingo, at least an intelligent post on 'avoidants' and not just whining about all these "avoidant lunatics!". Thanks

My avoidant partner became softer, affectionate and emotionally available when I stopped doing THIS...

@Squeeze1i Thanks!!!

I spent 20 years thinking I was just broken. Then I saw this diagram and my whole life clicked. "Too much" and "not enough" at the same time… Turns out my brain was just living in the middle circle. Diagram by Katy Higgins Lee, MFT (Tending Paths) – Updated December 2022 If this hits you too, you’re not broken. You’re wired different. ❤️

@delonperc Never chase an independent with strong boundaries if you are a dependent chasing emotions and attention

3 THINGS YOU NEED TO ACCEPT IF YOU CHOOSE TO STAY WITH AN AVOIDANT 1 They will never meet all your emotional needs. No one can. But with an avoidant, the gaps are wider. You need a life, friends, hobbies, and self-regulation skills outside the relationship. That is not optional. It is survival.

@The_Exit_Code happened to me, isolated at new job from the start for 4 years by that attention-seeking 'colleague' apparently afraid I may reap him of a promotion (I just arrived!). Today wit no support I'm overachieving to the point I'm impressing directors above him and he's angry pissed off

The smear campaign doesn’t just hurt you socially. It isolates you strategically. By convincing everyone that you’re bad, the narcissist guarantees: you can’t build alliances. Can’t find allies. Can’t tell your story to anyone who matters. You’re alone.

@Bellfera123 Stop being dependent then, they'll be no more avoidant

Avoidant people don't disappear all at once they pull back in small, confusing ways until you're left wondering if you're imagining the distance. One day they're fully present, the next they're 'just tired' or 'need

@Gabbrielxzn Go chase your projects, u'll find the right one on the road. Not interested = not interested. People are not avoidants. They just have boundaries (as long as it's not a DSM disorder, which is rarely the case)

Falling for an avoidant is one of the worst experiences of my life.

@nuel_szy True ! I'm fed up of "emotionally dependents", controlling, self -deserving-narcissistic people whining over "avoidant lunatics" who just have strong boundaries and who are self-aware and couscious enough not to be engulfed in unhealthy (inter)dependent relationships. Just saying

Avoidant people are not trying to avoid connections. They are avoiding a person they don’t feel safe with.

@Peterisrandom Have u ever considered the fact that "avoidants" may just be highly conscious and authentic people with strong boundaries (autistic traits, gifted, self-esteem, etc) who don't want to be engulfed in unhealthy interdependence by emotionally "dependents" people ? Just saying

The hardest part of dating an AVOIDANT isn’t the pull-away. It’s watching someone beg for your depth, your honesty, your intensity… get exactly that from you… and then make you feel crazy for giving it to them. ‘You’re too much.’ ‘It’s moving too fast.’ ‘I need space.’ The same person who chased your emotional openness suddenly treats it like a flaw. That contradiction breaks something in you.

@Gabbrielxzn 😅 so true 🤣

A neurodivergent person's ability to read the room Is exactly the reason why we don't want to be in it.

@Freyy_is They can't control you. So they fear you, unaware that what they see on the surface of your wall of ice is only the reflection of themselves

i’ve noticed that the more authentic you become, the stranger some people start acting around you. why does that happen?

@Colinsgaming @fluffyfrappee @grok 😅🤣

@fluffyfrappee @grok

Hey @grok transform these 70's girls into modern day genz girls !!

@Squeeze1i I have a solution : the MAJOR Neurodivergent Company. A tech business where only neurodivergents can apply. No team building. No social events. Full remote work mandatory. Full autonomy. Promotion through pure productivity & creativity. No bullshit. That's an idea ^^

Applying for jobs while neurodivergent is confusing. The job ad lists a bunch of requirements. I don't have half of them. Apparently the correct response is still to apply. Why are we all pretending the list isn't there?

@RobBroRob @Be_like_legend Thanks, appreciated! :) At this point, I wonder aq well what I could put into my nose to filter the smell lol

I like the idea! I hope the Airpods tip might work for someone, they’re pretty expensive to just ‘test out’ and not know for sure they’ll work for you. So make sure to check into the model and the features of it. (My biggest issue with other in-ear headphones is the shape/fit) They are as comfortable as something could be that’s in my autistic ear haha

Autistic folks, what accommodation have you put in place for yourself that sounds ridiculous to everyone else but makes perfect sense to your brain?

@after_3pm Same here. I already got fired 3x while working hard without a word just because of correcting my boss unintentionally, unappreciated by colleagues (loner) and awkward in social events. *sigh*.

会社で干されてる。 理由はたぶん、 会議中に上司のミスを指摘したから。 朝9時。PCを開く。 メールなし。チャットなし。会議招待なし。 上司「今なにやってるの？」

@Squeeze1i I get u. Me often i got 0 at schooltests coz I was writing stuff not possible for my age. And my brother was able to read BEFORE he learned to read at school. Just by comparing shops wording like "boulangerie" vs "boucherie" in the street (bakery vs butcher[y] in english).

Looking back, being called a gifted kid is kind of wild. I was struggling with things like eye contact, friendships, sensory overload, handwriting, and emotional regulation. But because I could read way above my age, everyone basically went: Yeah, he's doing great. 💀

@Stopworkplacebu My exact problem at work, where I end up 1 step ahead of my boss, unappreciated by colleagues, and ultimately fired in the end. Just by working without saying a word and struggling in social events

Toxic environments don't want you to be realistic. They want you to be agreeable. Authenticity makes people uncomfortable. If your honesty disrupts their illusion, they'll reject it because they don't want it. They want compliance. Be too honest, and you become a problem.

@Squeeze1i What nature gives you with one hand, 'takes away with the other. As taxes^^ Sad that my little brother was diag high iq at school and 'parents' didn't do anything. Never worked, drinks all day, depressed. 'sure he is autistic as well. I need to get tested and untangle this mess

@RobBroRob @Be_like_legend Thanks for the tip about the airpod, I will definitively give it a try! ; About sunglasses I hope some day someone will invent some kind of connected sunglasses where u can adjust the opacity, tint, color,... of the glass. no need for 12 sunglasses anymore :) that's an idea

Always. Airpod Pro 3 is my alternative to ear plugs. Keeps me from becoming too anxious not know the surrounding sounds but can be adjusted to make sharp sounds, repetitive or intrusive sound almost non-existent while letting in useful noise! Highly recommend. Sunglasses are also a must for me, I have around 10-12 pair (12 if you count the ones I have loaned and still expect to get back.) I like to have different sunglasses for different levels of light and my daily routines.

@fw_naetoblaq Team building

Autistic people, what is a social norm that you think is ridiculous?