Cannonball Adderall

Reactivated my twitter account just to tell @pitchfork to stop being cowards and give Aesop Rock a BNM already, I mean come on

@jaycrazay @benfowlkesMMA We did it, we found the worst guy

@benfowlkesMMA Wow you are so dumb man. Jealous much ? Dummy

Joe Rogan the type of dude to hear the pure joy of chiwiwis and go ‘what does that mean?’

What's the riskiest thing you've ever done in bed? I just ate an everything bagel

@EA @EASPORTS @EAFIFADirect I know that, as the end-product of a profit-driven corporation, all the decisions y'all make in this game's design make sense. But, on an individual, human level, you must feel so sad that you put all your sweat and tears into such a fuckin abomination

I admire the confidence of the first person to be like, "You got your bull markets on the one hand, then on the other you got bear markets. Now, what I mean by that is ..."

@_radsy I'm the guy who one time sent $25 so you could get Chinese food. Needles to say, I think you're plenty, and I appreciate you

who wants to tell me I’m enough

@benfowlkesMMA Fire Kid Nate! Oh wait...

The thing I keep thinking about, and I wonder how many people even realize it, is how so much of what we now know about the UFC’s financials and what they actually pay fighters is due to Bloody Elbow’s reporting. No other outlet did as much to inform us on the topic. Not one.

@Carl_E_Miller @benfowlkesMMA You seem great

@benfowlkesMMA 👎twitter.com/Carl_E_Miller/…

@amazonmusic I don't know why you guys gotta insist on making the simplest shit impossible. Infinite loop of this nonsense.

Try to have a worse idea than this. You can't do it. It can't be done.

This is my timeline—I don't even follow this guy

“Tu no eres un perdador con mi hombre mejor—el se llama Jesus”

Working on a character called Born-Again Youth Pastor Craig who’s always saying things like “bro, believe me, I’ve been with bitches who were bad, bitches who were bougie, and bitches both bad and bougie, but not one of them brought me peace and joy like life in Jesus Christ”

@GuidedByVodka @VictoryContent When we wrote the toilet gag we thought the Coriolis Effect was real for toilets and drains but it's not! (This was in the pre-widespread-internet era before we could find "reliable" information on it) So that's a case of WRITING a Simpsons joke we thought was real but it's not!

So apparently this DOESN'T mean fapping while vaping?? Who knew!

Mbapp Dembelé Diop a doo bop

"Was the club foot because of the incest?" Sitting in on a fifth grade class on King Tut

@ecco69k @laurapeek_ This line could become your "well excuuuuse me!" if you just keep tweeting it and never stop tweeting it twitter.com/ecco69k/status…

@KogaShuko @laurapeek_ She ain’t gonna fuck you dawg

Asked my fiancé if he was an ass or boob guy and he goes “I’m just along for the ride”

@ThomasAwful Spoken like a man who fast-forwards past the opening credits montages in VHS porn films

Just thinking the Departed could have been a lot better if everything wasn't revealed in the first nine minutes of the movie.

My favorite little man trying to act like he's not sleepy