The Kronstadt Gardener 🇵🇸

Never ask an "anti-colonialist" the race of her boyfriend

BREAKING: ‘The Odyssey’ looking to surpass 100% on Rotten Tomatoes after receiving massive batch of positive mail-in reviews at 3:00am following a water main break

WOKENESS RUINS EVERYTHING. Christopher Nolan has subverted the story of the Odyssey in a way that essentially destroys it. He's turned it into a liberal guiltfest, so that at the end of the story Odysseus regrets all he's done. WHAT? Where is the joy of the wily, indefatigable Odysseus so many of us have come to know and love? NOT IN THIS FILM. Nolan's Odysseus is catatonic on Calypso's island and is essentially a tortured soul throughout the film. In other words, Odysseus is really just Matt Damon. Bummer! And as you've doubtless already heard, the REST of the casting is not only an annoying distraction that takes you OUT of Homer's great story but a deliberate attempt to shove Hollywood woke-ism into what has been THE classic ur-text of Western Civilization. You're being forced to eat oatmeal with Kale in it. NO THANKS! But the story itself is ALSO confusing. We learn that Clytemnestra is Helen's identical twin?? Was that in the footnotes? NONE of this is clear. I guess making Helen blacker than Wesley Snipes forced Nolan to change the story? How is the average film viewer supposed to understand any of this? And WHY is Emmaus blind?!?! There are so many missed opportunities. For example, why don't we get the comedic scene of the Cyclops asking who has blinded him? Because comedy would be too much fun for the audience, and we need them to feel the guilt and joylessness? How appropriate that the disfigured Ellen Page lectures Odysseus: TOXIC MASCULINITY BAD! Never mind the insane silliness of the Trojan Horse being stuck in the sand on the beach and having to be dragged back to Troy. Would it be too much to ask that it be on wheels? Was that just too conventional for the great auteur behind this film? Never has $250M been put to worse use. And don't even think about bringing the family. This film is a HUGE missed opportunity to tell one of the greatest stories in Western civilization in a way that whole families could have enjoyed. As we have said: WOKENESS RUINS EVERYTHING. This film is definitely worth missing. Miss it if you can!

Someone tweeted that they want Elon to give Mel Gibson 100 million dollars to make a truly historically accurate Odyssey adaptation, real ships, real armor, real weapons, all dialogue straight from Homer, delivered in ancient Greek Elon’s response: “I’m down” LFG! 🔥🔥

Happy 33rd birthday to Steven Adams, the strongest man in the NBA!

Remember when everyone enjoyed Djimon Hounsou in Gladiator because they didn't try and make him Roman or Greek? Good times.

LOST is a masterpiece from start till the end.