Priced Uncertainty

I met Kate’s parents. It was a nail bitter. We landed after 24 hours of travel and immediately went to her mum’s house where the family congregated… her mum, dad, auntie, three cousins, sister, brother-in-law, a 3-wk old newborn, brother, and soon-to-be sister-in-law. There were 15 of us crammed into a living room. Upon arriving, someone said “oh I know your content from X”. Blood drained from my face. Nobody could tell though because my face is already pretty pale. Her dad and I hit it off. We cracked macadamia nuts from his tree, used an electric saw to open a coconut, and spoke about being carried as a baby by his 14 year old brother in the Bosnian snow while a German shot at them with a machine gun. Her mother, also from Bosnia, needed some time to warm up. That’s reasonable. I understand. I’m a bit unusual. She’s soft spoken, careful with her words, and protective of her daughter. A few days in and I began to worry that I may head home with an undecided verdict. I decided to live in her mum’s world. I ate everything she prepared, including meat, bread, and pasta, and embraced the discomfort of being an introvert in a week-long marathon social interaction with the entire extended family. We spent time in her garden and she fed me stevia leaves, peppers, celery, chives, peanut berry, grapefruit, and starfruit. Growing up, my mother and I maintained a garden together. I loved tending to it daily and it felt good to be back in the soil. Spending time with Kate’s mum motivated me to grow a longevity garden. Our shared love of gardening was the first big breakthrough. What really sealed the deal was when I interviewed Kate’s mum for an hour on camera, covering her upbringing and life and learning more about Kate. Somehow that format allowed her to see me more clearly than a generic social setting. I think she came to understand and trust my devotion to Kate. In the final hours before my departure, she was radiating with warmth. The entire family had gathered for a meal and it was laughter and teasing all around. My love and respect for Kate deepened. I spent time going through all of her childhood things, helping me see and understand her with greater depth. More on this later. It feels nice to be part of the family.