WorldFamous ๐ณ๐ฌ๐ง๐ช@OdohUmeh
Many people in the comments are asking what i did to her to get served. Here is a summary of the majors:
She facilitated the first work i got through her friend. Then i am yet to set up my own bank account, so they (the company) send my pay to her account. Whenever the money drops, she doesn't hand it over. She takes out some for foods, rents and utilities ( we do 50-50). The remaining she might use some to buy me expensive wears or the cat food. Who told this woman i need an expensive wear? I didn't come here for all that.
I got responsibilities back home and i can't continue like this. I worked like 6 months and in that period, i have no single savings. I have not sent 1 Kobo back home. When i complain she said my mind is still in Africa, therefore i don't love her enough and my plan is to make money here and send back to Africa.
So i did what an African man should do - I rebelled. I talked to a colleague at work (fellow African) and he walked me through the ropes on how to get a bank account and have it updated in my work file. Trouble started when she didn't receive the money as usual. After the fight that ensued, we decided on how much i will be dropping every week (it's a weekly pay).
I now have control of my finances. I started saving and sending small tokens back home. Within months i started doing small small investment back home. She learnt that i have restarted my building project (was abandoned at foundation level before i left Nigeria), all hell broke loose. I explained to her that i am the first born child and deeply rooted to my African ties. Just because i am married to a Dutch and living in a dutch land doesn't mean i should forget home, cos that was her argument.
To her, i should forget about Africa. "Africa is poor", she would say. Africa has nothing to give to you. You are here now.
You should focus on us .
Whatever you are investing or planning to invest should be here and not Africa.
For a fact that you are still thinking Africa means you plan to return to Africa some day.
It's not like i came on asylum. My parents are still much alive. My younger siblings are there. I spent all my life with these people, now you want me to turn my back on my people just so to prove i am not going any where? You want me to choose between you and my people?
Again, the calls. If there's one thing she can't stand, it is any call that came from home. She doesn't want none of that. She doesn't want nobody to call you.
They just want money.
They don't care about you.
They want you to be working and sending the money to Africa.
Who is that lady that called you?
Why is she calling you?
Is she your Nigerian wife?
I don't trust you anymore.
You said she is your sister but her surname is different.
I saw you sent money to so so and so person. Who is that and why are you sending him money?
Aaaah!
It was one week one trouble. For peace to reign, i stopped taking calls anytime I'm home. The only time i can call home is during break time at work, or on my train ride back home. During one of our many arguments, she hinted she will ask for a divorce and have my papers revoked, so Little by little, the power dynamics in the house began to shift. I don't wanna go back to Nigeria empty. Where will i start from? What will people say? That after 3 years in Europe the only thing he achieved was raising his house to lintel level. No way!
So i gave in. I allowed her turn me to her little obedient puppy ๐ฅน. On weekends that I rather want to sleep and rest, i will go with her to her parties just so i be in the good books. Not like a give a fuck about cats but i must bath and feed her cat cos it makes her happy.
During the Winter, the weather in Spain is much better. This particular winter, she planned for us to go her house in Spain for vacation. That will mean me stopping work (she has always wanted me to stop working and depend on her entirely), so I said no. From there, it was downhill.
