Tim Stani

@DearS_o_n the only true rock bottom is death. It can always get worse. So try to make it better. And a lot of times boredom is far above rock bottom so if you're bored at least youre at peace and safe.

To all men who survived rock bottom, what’s one piece of advice would you give a man who feels like giving up right now?

Some suffer righteously as a result of an unassailable tragedy of the self (physical body and psychological). A demeanor, a fog of persistent emotion. A seriousness too harsh to be cast away upon the whims of a momentary happiness. A feeling that for them clownishness is somehow deeply inauthentic. Despite an understanding and disposition for playfulness and levity. The constant returning to this state of seriousness, it is an emotional baseline for some. And in spite of these a recognition of life's absurdity and strangeness. They may recognize the alleviation of which would spring forth in them a soothing relief and lasting satisfaction. But no! There must be a daily vexation combined with an inflammation of the self regard, a gnawing unfulfilled desire, and profound sense of despair (developed over long experience). Recognizing that an end to all attempts is a beginning to all failure, they begin, again and again; modifying their efforts through their estimations/experiences as to what they deem a wise next course of action. They have again been reborn and resolved to enact new solutions to this self compromising problem space. They have pulled their sword from the stone. They are at once ready again for "massive action". And again their attempts are dashed upon the rocks. The ship they built painfully plank by plank; the lines and sails stretched and laid with careful precision, the crew selected for strength, vigor and wit. All the tribulations which result in a cooperative venture among those of great will. And the sequestration of resources and cargo all concluded. There is the raucous celebration upon the ship's launch, the casting off of chains and the chugging of spirits. There is the joy of the adventure and the sea air flowing through the hair. One climbs up to the crow's nest and crows at the sky! But then comes the darkness upon the horizon. The storm tossing them to and fro. The giant waves, tall as mountains; fearsome now they are dashed upon the rocks. They were fortunate enough to clamor aboard the lifeboats. They arrived back to shore (the same shore or one similar). The source of helplessness and despair wells up again once the terror resides. This deep futility, hammered into the black iron ore of their esteem. Their unfulfilled desires like chains of fire returning upon their neck and ankles. Eventually (often over decades) this effort and experimentation leads to a deep depression in which, one could say, is only rational. Perhaps in this state it may be considered even cruel to admonish them for not having attempted enough or not maintaining the correct attitude (though it may be beneficial): as is often how these types of situations are impressed upon them. They are told it is their failure of mindset or that they haven't tried enough or improved themself enough yet. How many trials must one undergo before one must indeed conclude they are in this way gravely flawed. Are they not the ones who have labored in vain? Is it not they who have taken up every approach, attitude, and avenue of action. They have gained all knowledge but the knowledge which frees them. Is it not then knowledge and effort which are nullified by this grievous condition? Who are you admonish them for having not tried enough? Were you by their side in witness to all their tribulations? How many years have you spent in their company evaluating the purchase and methods of their action? None! You have not been there at all! Silence! Your admonishment is foolish like the man whose head has never left a study yet claims to be capable of every accomplishment. Perhaps it was that fateful Cupid who at the very moment loosed the arrow; became distracted, and missed his mark. That wondrous goddess Aphrodite who turned her beautiful countenance aside in disgust at his gaze. His vain efforts, like Sisyphus, naught but toil and repetition. His striving lamentation the only admonition of his corporeality. She has no pity for him. There is nothing heroic or beautiful in being pitiable. But he has not even pity or sympathy for comfort only his own thoughts. Would he not remain a fool who continues in this way and is he not pitiable though correct in his suffering. How much more so when it is revealed through his inadequacy of what a load bearing and axiomatic requirement sexual absolution is to many a human being. That is the essence of his desire. To be desired. For a lifelong partner, children, a community and most carnally the acts of reproduction. They say nowadays all remedies to internal grief are spiritual. And that spiritual matters are resolved by radical mindfulness. By being present and aware of each thought, moment, sensation. To become the observer of each and not their judge. But stark awareness (so essential in the understanding of oneself and the regulation of emotion) may provide only a clearer recognition of ones starvation. A filling in of the vignette of destitution. A painful process of hyper-acuity of the pain in itself. It does not alleviate (for the soul seeks and esteems only what it alone wills). It cannot be discarded, ignored or deluded for long. It IS the life force, the source of all organismic vitality. These are the dreadful shades of revelation which come to one who is haunted. One who bears the millstone of rejection. And though he may awaken to the bright and perfumed rays of a beautiful morning sunlight. Despite the beckoning songs of colorful little birds or the smiles of an elderly neighbor. When such a one steps again out of doors he chooses to put on a smile. He selects a candid demeanor. Then he makes his way again to the grindstone. The soothing calm of the afternoon rain he can hear from his desk at his cubicle. There on the windowsill life beckons with arms wide. For him to try again. He leans in and once again senses the pull of time and stretches to loosen up the taught rigidity of fate. Then he's driving home at night alone. Zoning out at the stoplights. Then he's home again. He repeats the same few tasks required to keep entropy from localizing too much chaos for him to sustain. Then he plugs himself into his avoidance, copes and pleasures with great relief. At last he feels a sense of calm again. Then he becomes so exhausted. He lays his head down finally to rest. He feels the heaviness of his eyelids and welcomes the gentle kiss of sleep. Perhaps this emptying of pleasures and pains reassures him; especially the emptying of awareness. The ability to go deeply asleep and be as unconscious as possible is his saddest joy. Time here is the absence which is blacker than the darkness where he rests his head upon the pillow. It reminds him of how things often just slip by, his actual alone-ness and his fragile mortality. Yet he feels at home again. And he lets his thoughts wander as he feels the smoothness of the sheets upon his skin. Then the gentle nod of sleep carries him away.

true but some suffer from a related problem. They try again and again (modifying their efforts through what they perceive as a learned lesson) and yet they continue to fail. Eventually this effort and modification leads to a depression which in this case I think one could say is only rational. How many times must one fail before they must admit they just don't have what it takes or are in some way flawed / defective / unadaptive.

To do or not to do? To try or not to try? Most people will vote no, whether they consider themselves brave or not. Uncertainty and the prospect of failure can be very scary noises in the shadows. Most people will choose unhappiness over uncertainty.

I don't think it's one little thing usually unless the person is a narcissist. But it may be many things of which neither of you is aware consciously (or are aware) and which causes him to devalue you over time. This can be true for women to men too of course. The biggest thing is just being respectful and not constantly disagreeable, often acting uninterested or emasculating. Men often have simple needs. They want to feel desired (especially sexually) and useful (or insightful). If you want to keep a man just encourage him (get him talking about his interests), thank him when he does things and demonstrate your physical desire for him. And don't get really out of shape

Men are extremely calculated when it comes to dating. A man can date you and at first see you as a wife, but you can do one little thing just one and that can automatically cross “wife” off in his mind. The sad part is, he often won’t tell you. He’ll continue dating you even though he no longer sees you that way, because men don’t always view time the same way women do. The only way to protect yourself is to be on your game as a woman and stay discerning.

@libriscent that's true but it's (doing everything alone) still more sad than finding someone to come with you that you actually like and have fun with (who builds you up)

I have no problem eating alone, traveling alone, doing everything alone. People act like that’s sad. You know what’s actually sad? Never doing anything because you couldn’t find someone to come with you.

the cause is women having more options / being able to support themselves and the overeducation of the population at university resulting in many people not being able to start forming families until 24-28 and by then having less desire to do so. There is much to be said for being young, horny and ignorant when it comes to birth rates

the belief that birth rate is going down because of cost of living is statistically false birth rate drops most after countries become affluent it’s a self-defeating mechanism this is the final boss of civilization and has not yet been beaten

@sierracatalina I don't have any guests and bar soap is cheaper. I bought a nice little tray for it so the soap doesn't build up all over the sink area :)

if you still use bar soap for your hands in 2026 I am assuming you also still use a flip phone. liquid soap only. this is a non negotiable for house guests.

@neet_sol just set a day and time :)

what if we all quit our jobs in perfect synchrony

I'll believe the hype when AI can build me this:

false. Porn is a symptom of lack of options. Most men have been and are being rejected and have no other choice. Those who arent approaching and accumulating rejections know it intuitively. Don't believe me go out and try approaching and getting numbers yourself. GO make a dating profile and try to get an actual gf there. GL

@PathOfMen_ Porn. It’s killing all drive, and all need for real connection. With it being free means you’re the product, you’re paying with your soul. Kill that shit, QUICK.

there’s a pandemic of single men slowly hitting 30s and 40s and still unmarried. what’s going on?

@PathOfMen_ modern women

@EssentialMastry ok so basically just lobotomize yourself

“To be happy you must eliminate two things: The fear of a bad future and The memory of a bad past.” - Seneca

sci.news/space/earths-b… "“Our calculations make it clear: the building material of the Earth originates from a single material reservoir,” said ETH Zurich planetary scientist Dr. Paolo Sossi. “We were truly astonished to find that the Earth is composed entirely of material from the inner Solar System distinct from any combination of existing meteorites,” added Dr. Dan Bower, also from ETH Zurich."

One thing I miss from the 1990s was playing ghosts in the graveyard and annie-over on summer afternoons until dark with like 15 neighbor kids of all ages

@GamewithDave playing ghosts in the graveyard and annie-over with like 15 neighbor kids on war summer afternoons until dark.

People who actually experienced the 1990s: What is something you miss from that decade that just isn't the same today

@DylanoA4 been playing the recent release of wow TBC classic and having a blast as a shaman

I can't be the only one feeling it, the internet is just not that fun anymore