Ian Cooper 🇺🇦💙🎓

@PolitlcsUK @theipaper Anyone got the PGN..?

🚨 NEW: Rachel Reeves beat Rishi Sunak at chess in Davos at 1am this morning [@theipaper]

@MatthewBal87961 @andrewmcb Buttery biscuit based.

This is not AI The BBC really did broadcast Gregg Wallace saying this

@fesshole Unforeseen circumstances? You shat the bed, right?

Due to unforeseen circumstances, my pillows, quilt cover and sheet are out of sync. They don't match; sets are all out of whack. I don't know how I'm going to get it back to how it was, and you know what? I don't think I give a shit.

If Snoop passes you the blunt, you can’t turn him down

@fesshole Hans Niemann?

For the wife's birthday I got her a set of vibrating anal beads that activate via remote clicker. Decided to take them for a "test drive" before giving them to her, turns out I enjoy it so much I wear them to work. Livens up boring meetings. Wife got flowers instead.

@RevRichardColes commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Chri…

@fesshole Hunny Bunny

If people ask what my toddler daughter's rabbit is called, I lie and tell them his name is Prince. His actual name, chosen by my daughter who heard it once but doesn't understand the historical significance of it yet, is Hitler.

@agadmator Trick question? Are they from the same set...? Fugly set anyways!

Settle a bet. Which piece is the King?

@faisalislam @demishassabis @InstituteGC Paging @Number10cat

Reassuringly, @demishassabis tells Blair at the @InstituteGC conference that Artificial Intelligence is only at the IQ level of a cat right now.. [although that is changing rapidly - surely will exceed humans in many tasks in this Parliament] 🐈‍⬛

Time to launch my manifesto: 1. Creation of a new meal between breakfast and brunch 2. If it's not sunny on a bank holiday everyone gets a rollover until it is 3. Legally declare that nostalgia isn't as good as it used to be 4. Rename the Isle of Dogs (it's actually a peninsula) 5. Rejoin the EU but let everyone who voted to leave pretend that we still have 6. Creation of a new meal between brunch and lunch

@fesshole Kinsey's 75 years out of date!

I used modelling software at work, the Census, and Kinsey's study of human sexual behaviour to calculate how many hand shandies are being knocked out at any given moment in the UK. 6,848.

@chesscom @GothamChess You can get ointment for that, Levy..

LEVY WINS AGAIN IN MADRID! Is @GothamChess unstoppable?! 🤯

@MartinSLewis "Roughly the same" covers both being 100% commited, and couldn't care less, so long as you haven't changed over the 5 years...

Today's Twitter Poll: Are you more or less pro green (environmentally friendly) policies than you were five years ago? Are they more or a less a part of your decision on how to vote.

@mattpike421 @fesshole Came here to say that

Just found out my husband has been selected as a parliamentary candidate for the general election. I hope he loses because I don't actually want to be the wife of an MP.

@GMHikaru @DanielRensch @DingLiren @fionchetta @CristianChirila Team Ulsrud (and the late Thomas Ulsrud) were brilliant!

I had a great rest day, climbed up to Pulpit Rock, filmed some secret stuff with @DanielRensch and now back to this fantastic hobby. Today I play the World Chess Champion @DingLiren. @fionchetta and @CristianChirila are covering it all at kick.com/gmhikaru. Send 🍍🌻🍍!!

@stevemmitchell @DavidHerdson Probably not, but I had yesterday's Electoral Calculus MRP poll in mind

@ijc67 @DavidHerdson Do you know something I don't know? 🤣

Considering that Opinium have had the Lab lead between 14-18 points *all year*, this is quite the tease.

@stevemmitchell @DavidHerdson Fancy another guess?

@ijc67 @DavidHerdson Have a gut feeling its Tories within 10%. Not sure what else would solicit that sort of reaction

In the face of overwhelming evidence, I've reluctantly come to the conclusion that capitalism is now causing way more problems than it's solving. I'm a director of a large multinational.