@RRR0BYN I also believe it's 99% down to their innate personality and I've only got one so far. It does make me kinda nervous for the future because of how unpredictable this is.
English
Zoomer Wife ๐ง๐ป
625 posts
Zoomer Wife ๐ง๐ป
@katehate88
Wife and mum of 1 ๐ถ๐ผ Sourdough enjoyer ๐๐ง Health enthusiast๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐
๊ฐ์
์ผ Kasฤฑm 2017
183 ํ๋ก์30 ํ๋ก์
Baby 3 just popped her first tooth and I was shocked bc she is her normal happy self ๐ค so let me get this straight, perfect freebirth, no sleep regressions, sleeping through the night since birth, no crying without clear reason, a champ out the gate with breastfeeding and no TEETHING pain/crankiness???
This child is making me rethink I everything I thought I knew about babies and parenting tbh. Also for clarification Iโve done nothing different with her than I did with my first two yet she is so so so much easier.
Itโs making me think we should all be slower to pat ourselves on the back for having a kid whoโs easy and also slow to take it personally when kids are challenging bc this sure seems like hardware to me.
The only thing I can think of thatโs different is my nervous system. I spend exactly 0 minutes a day worrying about this child or anything related to mothering her. Thatโs certainly an advantage but it couldnโt just be me chilling out thatโs helping this much tho right?
Yes we can do things to set ourselves and our babies up for success and we have a responsibility to do those things, (or not do things that harm our babies) but also it really seems like babies just are who they are regardless of our striving for perfectionism as mothers.
Anyone with one easy baby is not the barometer for normal. Letโs see you have 5 easy babies before the self congratulation begins lol
English
@Elliesmommyy23 Tomato pasta with ground pork. I ate it every day pretty much except back then I ate ground beef because it wasn't as horrendously expensive as it is now.
English
I donโt think Iโm eating enough.
Nausea isnโt terrible this baby but my food aversions are pretty strong. Nothing sounds good, including steak. Anyone have recommendations of what to eat besides processed food?
English
@Ruesavatar I can't fathom marrying or even dating a man more than 1 year younger than me, and even that is pushing it. 90% of relationships I've seen where the woman was younger ended up crashing and burning but people don't like when I point that out.
English
I get approached somewhat regularly by younger men, but I just assume that theyโre hoping I am desperate enough for no strings situationships, so never even entertain the thought. How many of these pairings are marrying?
Lisa Britton@LisaBritton
This is actually true. Lately, many of my girlfriends (mid to late thirties) have been telling me that they are getting approached by early-twenties men, very confidently I would add. Whatโs going on?
English
@RealDianeYap Idk, this is how I feel about most things that most people talk about but I still pretend to care for the sake of social cohesion. I'm autistic btw.
English
My mom taught me this lesson when I was maybe seven. I was going on about something I found interesting and after a few minutes she cut in: "Did you notice how I haven't been responding at all?"
"Yeah?"
"That means I don't care. I don't care about this topic. I'm bored. I don't want to hear about this. When you talk to people, pay attention to whether or not they're responding to you. If they barely have anything to say, stop talking about whatever you're talking about."
It was a good lesson. One that many people need but never got. And it shows.
โู@itsnwts
Actually, only people with ADHD truly understand what it's like to be AGGRESSIVELY uninterested in something like so uninterested you're angry
English
@RRR0BYN I think homesteading is cool but living a million miles away from the nearest shop/hospital/anything is depressing and I hated every second of it when I was forced to live that way.
English
I really wonder sometimes about the homestead meme that has been relentlessly pushed online for the past 5 years. I refuse to farm lol so I have remained resistant to the glamorization of hard domestic labor and owning livestock. But I wonder if this is an op of some kind often. Iโm not saying farming is bad, I just donโt think everyone can or should do it.
How will they rug pull all these trad larpers who decided it was cool and aesthetic to geographically isolate themselves and devote themselves to pretending theyโre better than everyone else bc they have a few chickens. I really do wonder.
developing valhalla - h/acc@valhalla_dev
We're going to get a leak in about 10 years, give or take 5 years, that the CIA was planting most of these "former CIA spies" and "former Special Operations" guys in the podcast space
English
@Hestia_Esq Before I got pregnant I had the perfect diet of only whole foods, high protein, no seed oils, etc. In my first trimester I couldn't even stomach plain rice or bread without nausea meds. I didn't even know it could be that bad!
English
I had the perfect Weston Price nutrient rich low carb diet when the nausea and barfing hit with my first and then even the smell of meat made me barf for months
I had the worst diet of leftover kid scraps with my 3rd and 4th and had way less nausea and barfing
vittorio@IterIntellectus
last month I shared what the wife and I found to work for her to avoid the first trimester nausea. a lot of people asked for more information about what else we did, so here it is
English
@RRR0BYN Imagine being this happy about taking a baby away from their mum. And the weird faux pregnancy announcement as if one of them is actually pregnant. Makes me sick tbh
English
When I see this all I can think about is that poor innocent little baby boy crying for his mama while that evil gay laughs
English
@RRR0BYN The amount of people who believe that children under 3 NEED to go to nursery/daycare for "socialisation" and will even be harmed without it is actually quite rage-inducing. My own dad thinks this. Luckily they couldn't afford daycare when I was little.
English
Iโm actually so beyond sick of this obsession with โsocializationโ in parenting discourse. Do you know what socialization BABIES need? They need socialization with their mothers, siblings, cousins and extended family. Thatโs literally it. Mothers absolutely do not need to โpush themselvesโ to be going out of their way so that their babies can โsocializeโ with other babies give me a damn break.
Kristen Carolan@babyfeverbabe
I think socializing your babies is a very important part of the SAHM role and I think introverted moms have a responsibility to push themselves out of their comfort zone for the sake of their babies
English
@LadyNimby Lol as a child I had a cheese sandwich every day. Occasionally it would be ham or tomato or cucumber.
English
I am simply out of breakfast ideas for the girls. Oatmeal, bacon, toast, French toast, eggs, pancakes, waffles, sausage, hash brownsโฆall done this week. Please somebody help
English
@RRR0BYN You do you! I can't imagine being happy while eating the amount of calories required to be truly skinny tho. I've never felt better about my body than I do now that I lift heavy and eat in a moderate surplus, it's the best feeling imo.
English
@katehate88 Yeah i definitely do not want my body type to be described as muscular. You can be skinny and still be strong. I prefer long and lean over muscular.
English
@RRR0BYN Very interesting, I ate red meat practically every day when I was pregnant and my water didn't break until I was ready to push.
English
I was told this too but among the traditional midwives Iโve spoken to itโs eggs and red meat aiding in adequate protein intake. Most women are not getting nearly enough protein in while pregnant which is thought to be the cause of increased women having early rupture of membranes.
Higher protein diet results in a stronger amniotic sac which allows the waters to remain intact until the final stages of labor.
In all three of my birth experiences my waters didnโt break until moments before baby was born and I had a very high protein diet all three times. Seems to check out.
Mother of Waffles@Waffle_Mother
My midwife told me today that *ANECDOTALLY* women who eat lots of eggs during pregnancy tend to have waters break later in labor. They arenโt my favorite, but I am going to start eggmaxxing.
English
@TheLaurenChen I know someone who was physically bullied relentlessly for years and the teachers never did anything about it. If the school/other parents are reasonable then I think hitting back is wrong, but if they're not, then your kid should hit back as hard as they possibly can.
English
Look, if your kid hits my kid, your kid is getting put in their place. You should just be thankful it's by my kid and not me.
Parents like this think their kids' bad behavior is everyone's fault but their own.
Rhoda@Symply_rhoda1
Parents, please stop sending your kids to school with the mindset of โif someone hits you, hit them back.โ You are part of the problem.
English
@TheMindScourge I think this is a lot more dependent on your/your kid's personalities than how many kids you have. Some people will live a full life with 4+ kids while others who have only 1 will find leaving the house with them too overwhelming to bear.
English
I have 4 kids, so a few things to consider:
Having one kid is a bit like having none. You can still keep up with old friends and habits. Your wife can go out and you can watch the kid, and vice versa
Where things really change is when you get two or more kids, plus when they get older. Infants and up until about 18 months or so is its own world. They donโt really do much and they sleep a lot. So itโs easy to take your baby with you and you can (mostly) focus on other things
Once you have two or more it becomes harder. Your first will be older and much more of your attention will be on him or her. Going out with friends is still possible but now youโre leaving your wife with two kids. Sheโs now outnumbered and the older of the two is much active. The mental load is higher. Itโs more of a burden to ask your wife to do this and so youโll start doing it less often
The other thing is that interests diverge. Your kids are this really important new thing in your life. Itโs your major topic of conversation outside work. If your friends donโt have kids thereโs just this huge area of your life you now canโt discuss. You can try, but it rarely works in practice. Youโll think that youโll be the exception, but probably you wonโt. Your friends no matter how understanding just wonโt get it
Again, with one kid most of the above doesnโt really apply. Most things will continue unchanged, at least for awhile
M. Nolan Gray ๐ฅ@mnolangray
For most of our relationship, my wife was skeptical of having kids. In retrospect, I realize that this was partly because most of our friends/colleagues who had kids in their early-to-mid 20s basically turned off their lives and always offered up the kids as an excuse for saying "no" to everythingโa sort of anti-natalist advertisement. But by our late 20s, we started having friends/colleagues who were having kids but continuing to live their livesโtaking trips, hanging out with friends, getting out into cities/nature, but now with a small, cute, and curious version of themselves in tow. This is when it clicked. And now we have a kid on the way!
English
@MeghanEMurphy Making porn is worse. Watching it is not.
English
Watching porn is worse x.com/enjoyer_libertโฆ
LT Jonathan Kendrick@enjoyer_liberty
Christian women like Lila Rose genuinely believe that a woman who fucked 40 guys before she turned 25 is the exact same as a man who occasionally watches pornography. Absolutely batshit insane. Unserious people.
English
@revenant_MMXX I actually think the internet and social media has a lot to do with it. Everyone's addicted and watching videos of women talking about how much they hate motherhood. Little girls have grown up seeing this while spending no time around babies or younger kids, it's no wonder imo
English
Every single half-baked explanation for why fertility declined is downstream of the actual reason, which is young women "getting educated" and joining the work force en masse. People will say literally anything other than "women, at scale, are having careers instead of kids."
Lauren Chen@TheLaurenChen
Boomers don't want to hear this, but one of the (many) reasons why my generation isn't having as many kids? A lot of millennials feel they can't depend on their parents for help the way they saw their own grandparents pitch in when they were growing up
English
@HazelAppleyard This is just sad on both ends. Surely some sort of setup where mum (grandma by then) lives with the daughter once she's married with kids and can watch them when needed is the best outcome for everyone? This feels so...legalistic on the daughter's part
English
@AThinksAloud I'm not against home birth in any way but I do think the best way is at a hospital/birthing centre with a midwife present and doctors nearby in case of emergency. Especially if you live far away from the nearest hospital.
English
A young woman at my church tried having her baby at home, au natural, and there were complications. She went to the hospital, but did not get there soon enough, and she almost died and the baby did not make it.
Absolute worst case scenario and so horrifying and sad. We take for granted that this used to happen a LOT more often before modern medicine.
English
@Mickskinz 100% I've been boycotting these ridiculously overpriced "chocolates" for a few years now.
English
As a chocaholic nothing would bring me more pleasure than for Cadburys to collapse.
They betrayed everyone when they closed down their factory in Birmingham and sold to a filthy American conglomerate.
A glass an a half in every dairy milk ended up three glugs of palm oil and a cheap labour plant in Poland.
Boycott the cunts
Sue ๐ฌ๐ง๐ด๓ ง๓ ข๓ ฅ๓ ฎ๓ ง๓ ฟ@suespeaksup
Cadbury eggs stacking up on shelvesโฆ reduced everywhereโฆ and still no oneโs buying. People can taste the difference. Cheaper ingredients, palm oil, higher prices itโs not the same chocolate anymore. Consumers arenโt stupid. Theyโve just stopped buying it!!
English
@wojakcodes I've accepted that I'll never buy a house and I still don't spend on stupid crap like this...a lot of people are using Klarna and literally going into debt for the Doordash lifestyle. They are simply irresponsible and short-sighted.
English
a lot of youngsters have accepted that they will never save up enough to buy a house, so they spend it on stupid things like this.
Rothmus ๐ด@Rothmus
English