maddie ☕️☀️

the camping trip was a success <3

@TWlTTERHAVER the lioness is taking 5 years (no breaks, full time except for one semester) to get her associate's

The lioness does not concern herself with finishing undergrad within a certain timeframe

Gen Z jobs: Professional mogger Failed assassin Racist on internet Niche internet lolcow 7/11 gas station attendant Crypto rug puller Hired by boomer dad Cybersigil traveling tattoo artist

Men will think you are the coolest thing walking just bc you’re pretty and also nice and have some hobbies it’s crazy cause I’m confused what is the average

@aegyocals a few ppl yes but my boyfriend sold the next decade of his life to the govt to achieve this. head up twin

me posting about being fat and suicidal on twitter while everyone at my age is making 6 figures, travelling the world and having a boyfriend.

having the hiccups will truly reveal which of your friends worship at the alter of science and reason (suggest holding your breath until the hiccups go away) and which of your friends will try to “scare them out of you” like a fanatical priest from the 1800s

@soleiljolina Having time for things really is a mindset IMO

How the fuck does anyone have time to do anything

a beautiful woman named beep is trying to contact me through my carbon monoxide alarm

in 6 months life will be completely new again

@YvTsl 🤣

This is a legit sign we have up in the ER at the hospital I work at 😭😭

@masha_slp showering in early afternoon feels lawless and exhilarating

showering at night is so sexy and clean and self care vibes. showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core

sleeping 8am to 3pm

@anyamaxxed 0/2 damn

pear is the best fruit and the worst body shape

@hugh_janus8008 I got addicted to stress about five years ago and if I take the edge off I can't function. Although I do miss vaping, like, a lot.

genuinely what do ppl who don’t drink, smoke, vape or cut even do when they’re stressed

In my mind, it's already summer

this isn't me trying to sound profound btw. i am recounting a weirdly spiritual experience i had as an atheist. i've kept wondering about this feeling since, insight is appreciated. I'm going to drink another beer now

Late last night I walked to the shore and stared into the abyss where the sea meets the stars. Every time I exhaled, I hoped my soul would escape with my breath and dissipate into the ocean and the cosmos

Listening to my music for the first time after being gone for 2 days hits like crack omg

you might mean a lot to me, but you will never measure up to Snipping Tool. Don't flatter yourself.

going grocery shopping while i owe the hospital 2 thousand dollars