Brandon

You instantly feel better after maxing a deadlift.

POV: You are an American citizen visiting Frisco, Texas.

My wife mentioned a nice private school over dinner this week She said the campus was beautiful I asked what's the tuition She said we should look at it as an investment in him not a cost I made a note She said don't make a note I said I always make notes She said this isn't a deal I said everything is a deal She closed her eyes She said we'd discuss it Saturday I agreed Saturday 7:02am She came downstairs in her Saturday robe Coffee in hand I had my cargo shorts on The dining room had been cleared The projector was on The analyst was at the head of the table Quarter zip on, three iced coffees, a legal pad, and two laptops He had been there since 6:44am I texted him at 11:14pm Friday The text said dining room 6:45am bring the model He sent a thumbs up My wife stopped in the doorway She said what is this I said you said you wanted to discuss it She said this is not a discussion I did not respond She sat down anyway The analyst stood He said good morning ma'am She did not respond He sat back down A printed deck in front of each seat A fourth copy in case Slide 1 Tuition Schedule $38,500 per year Thirteen years $500,500 nominal Before escalators The school has raised tuition 4.2% per year for a decade With escalators $648,000 My wife said okay I said I'm not done Slide 2 Opportunity Cost Even before escalators $38,500 invested annually 10% nominal return S&P long-run average since 1928 By his eighteenth birthday $944,000 My wife said we can afford it I said I know that's not the slide Slide 3 Terminal Value at Age 65 $83 million She was quiet The analyst slid the sensitivity tables across the table 8% return $31 million 10% return $83 million 12% return $222 million She did not look She said this isn't about money I said it's always about money She said no it isn't I said then what is it about She did not answer She said you can't put a dollar value on his teachers his classmates his environment I said I can the analyst already did slide 6 He flipped to slide 6 She did not look She said the school is the best in the city I said best is a feeling She said it produces the best students I said the students were already the best before they got there She said our son deserves it I said our son deserves $83 million My son walked in He is five Dinosaur pajamas He looked at the projector He looked at the open deck on the table He looked at slide 3 He said are we modeling pre-tax or after-tax The analyst opened a new tab My wife looked at the ceiling He said what's the discount rate The analyst set down his pen She closed her eyes He said is this the same return assumption from the 529 conversation The analyst stopped typing He looked at me I did not say anything She stood up Sat back down He said dad can I help I said yes He pulled up a chair The analyst handed him a printout He started reading My wife watched him read She watched him for a long time She said his name He looked up She said do you like school He said the work is too easy and the kids don't ask questions She did not respond She looked at the ceiling She walked out of the room The analyst started packing up He said should I follow up Monday sir I said no follow up needed He'll be fine Sent from my iPhone

@tuuu28283 In America, we have lots of deserts but no camels. However, we prefer to ride a horse with no name.

アメリカの兄弟達 アメリカって普通の人がイメージする砂漠ってある？ 砂漠見てみたいしラクダいるなら乗りたい🐪

@fwmarqix This is the way. One day at a time.

Me: at Japanese gym for first time, trying to look athletic. impossible task. gym absolutely silent except weights. everyone inside terrifyingly fit. old man on treadmill running like government experiment. Trainer approaches me. Trainer: Goal? Me: Survival. Trainer nods respectfully. Trainer: Understandable. he puts me on machine, machine looks military. Trainer: Easy. five seconds later, I’m fighting for my ancestors. Trainer: Good warmup. Me: WARMUP?? nearby high school girl lifting more than me casually. not even sweating, she drinking juice between sets. I attempt bench press, weight immediately crushes my confidence. random old man appears out of nowhere Old man: Need help? Me: Yes please. old man lifts weight with one hand. ONE HAND. man is seventy-two minimum. Old man: Young people weak now. Me: You fought in the Sengoku period or something? Old man laughs mysteriously. Trainer returns holding clipboard. Trainer: Your body age… long pause. Trainer: …58. Me: I AM TWENTY NINE. Trainer: Body disagrees. Old man pats my shoulder sympathetically. Old man: Come back tomorrow. We rebuild you. Me: That sounds like anime training arc.

@worldwide_yuya Only in freedom loving states and cities.

さっき知ったんだけど… アメリカでは赤信号でも右折可能なの！？

The European mind can’t comprehend this

@RealPETE2020 So what happened?

In a wedding this afternoon and dry cleaner can’t find my tux

@Catholic_bro Hail Mary, full of grace, punch the devil in the face.

What’s your favorite short prayer?

Spam political text messages are trash and all of the candidates should be removed from the ballot for doing this.

@aggiebethany Lost my voice from the nose bleeds and got to meet Visor Guy after the game. That was a good night.

Took my nephew to one game while I was at A&M… it was 2010 vs. Nebraska. He had a blast tho I’m not sure he remembers it 😂

@MLFootball Good managers take the heat for good employees and they rise together. I’ve had one over the years who did this and he was a gem.

🚨TRENDING🚨 This video of a young Andy Reid getting CHEWED OUT on the sideline by Mike Holmgren after the wrong play was called has resurfaced. Reid took the blame for Brett Favre’s mistake: “I hope you still love me after I get my ass whipped here”

@tuuu28283 Yeah

アメリカの兄弟達 日本人なんであんまりわかってないんだけど 英語のyesとyupは意味ってほとんど一緒？？

@BigDickBarclay You know that feeling when you finally get rid of a big booger and can breathe through your nostril again? That’s what that blower is feeling now.

Once every 10 years, whether it needs it or not

lol. Lmao. Lmfao.

@DrunkRepub I have said for a long time that toddlers are just little drunk people.

3-year-olds are messed up. They’ll shit themselves, punch you in the face, and pass out face first on a hardwood floor. Like having a tiny member of Motley Crue in your house.

@AJA_Cortes What do we do when an outsider with tens of millions of dollars comes in supporting the other guy?

You win an election by having people vote for you who live in the place where you are running. Those are your voters you go after. Not by appealing to terminally online imbecile swarms who aren't even American in many cases

Just saw a group of teens playing hacky sack. We are so back dude.

@RealPETE2020 @KVanthof Might as well have a Ford pad with Raptors, Mustangs, and Broncos.

Map of wells named “Raptor” Not a single one in the Permian. Pls fix @KVanthof

Shortly after becoming Catholic I confided in a friend that I didn’t feel like I was “getting that much out of Mass” I will never forget his response, “that’s OK. It’s not about you.” In five seconds it was the most powerful spiritual insight I have ever received.

Study Finds 100% Of Men Would Eat Any Fruit Given To Them By A Naked Woman buff.ly/7lGTEbV