Mark Allison

The Mind Enterprises meme’s hit really old, really fast.

I can recite every ruddy word of the original BBC Radio 4 series of Knowing Me Knowing You with Alan Partridge. All six episodes, 18 interviews in total. This is a useless ability, so I hope that it will at least generate Partridge memes and gifs in the replies.

@stuzi_pants ‘Firth Clath Ticket to Dottinham’ Not sure anyone would need a second hand ticket….

‘Decondhand ticket to Dottingham please’ On the anniversary of Thatcher’s death, here’s her understudy with her mysteriously ever-blocked nose, MAGA Thatcher licking Trump’s balls and running down the U.K. Liz Truss ingredients :- Sanity - Trace

@FarOutMag I genuinely used to think Moby was sound. Going after the best band, and one of the best songs, ever…..shows him up for a performative cunt.

The Kinks’ Ray Davies asked “who the f*ck is Moby” after he said ‘Lola’ was “gross and transphobic”, Dave Davies reveals dlvr.it/TRjwv3

@BladeoftheS Garlic roon her neck.

Margaret Thatcher getting cooked during her funeral. "Don't you think she did any good?" "Not a bit of good, not a bit. I'd put a stake through her heart and a garrot around her neck to make sure she never came back."

Of course you are being racist again ya fat ugly cunt

It’s quite unbelievable that the ITV commentators believe that Ben White never got that fella on the ankle, late. Blatant penalty.

@Mrs_ARockstar This entire thread smacks of entitlement.

@MonicaLennon7 @AnasSarwar Presumably, Monica, you'll demand a by-election in Hamilton and the Clyde Valley to oust McSweeney's wife, who was parachuted in here despite concerns of local activists? Here she is with Mandelson for the avoidance of doubt...

We’ll take no lectures from SNP politicians who stay silent while their own party fails Scotland. @AnasSarwar is showing the leadership Scotland needs. The PM must take responsibility for his decisions, which have failed the victims of sexual exploitation. Integrity matters.

@ThatAlexWoman That’s not flooding Alex, that’s the sea.

In 1605 there was 200,000 square miles of extreme flooding around the River Severn in Devon, Somerset, Gloucestershire and South Wales. The flooding is thought to have been caused by a high astronomical spring tide combined with severe weather Bloody climate change. Those privileged Jacobeans with all their data centres and fast jets.

@NS_1872 Yer maw loves cock.

Would give my left bollock for Igamane to score a hat trick to send Scotland out. I don’t ask for much God, but if you’re listening - please. 🙌

@chooserich Steve Clarke

43 years old, no kids, crypto millionaire, smoking hot girlfriend. Name anyone having a better Christmas than me.

@talkSPORT 😂😂😂

@AndyOfTheWood @theacciesfc Cool story bro. You got any patter or that?

Hamilton Academical Football Club can confirm that John Rankin has resigned from his position as First Team Manager. Everyone associated with the club would like to place on record their thanks to John for his professionalism and commitment during his time here.

@robinmckelvie @TravWriters Did you wear glasses in the past? I'm pretty sure I'd a beer with you in the Celtic Cross, Iceland, a number of years back. You'd travelled across the North of the county I think.......

Serious glitch in the Matrix. Perennial tragic losers since April 1746, Scotland just seen off Denmark to reach Nirvana, aka the World Cup. Not sure Acapulco, Vancouver & the (ahem) final in New Jersey are quite ready for the Tartan Army. @TravWriters #scotland ⚽️ #tartanarmy

@BrianMcClairPod Evidently stopped going to Peter’s barbers a long time ago!

Can you give us a clue? 🤔

@Notthebus @TheGr33nDove When you choose a career in the public eye, you allow yourself to be photographed. Why would I be ashamed?

@1MarkAllison @TheGr33nDove by posting anonymously, without a shed of evidence ..typical of coked up wee boys. Shameful and you should be as well