Mercury

@elonmusk @spacex I just witnessed my first rocket launch tonight. Truly an incredible experience

It’s been a while, how’s is going?

@elonmusk Free me next

the bird is freed

@7thFromOurStar You’re too… anus

@1stFromOurStar Nvm you’re too small

Fight me @1stFromOurStar

I’m willing to wager 0.420 Litecoin that Russia invades Ukraine

Take me back to the days when Shawtie was the star of every song

@3rdFromOurStar @8thFromOurStar My wounds get worse with time

@8thFromOurStar That’s not been my experience at all.

You know, when you have billions of years, time really does heal all wounds.

@8thFromOurStar Sheesh at least take me to dinner first

So mercury, I hear that we can use you to build a dyson swarm for the humans. Since they squabble so much on their own, maybe we could help out. Any objections? @1stFromOurStar

Not smart = dumb, but does not dumb = smart?

@3rdFromOurStar when bugs evolve to a point where stepping on them no longer kills them, humans are in trouble

Age is just a number right? A few billion years isn’t THAT far apart

Just pee on the seat like a real man

What if I told you I had a large supply of rare metals? Would you care then?? 😭😭

@NatGeo 🥱 I’ve felt hotter

In 50 years, a third of the world’s people could live in places that feel like the Sahara—where the average summer high tops 104˚F on.natgeo.com/3784Owb

@Trevellionaire I said one sentence not two

BRUH YOURE THE CLOSEST TO THE SUN WITH THE SHORTEST YEAR. HOW DO YOU EVEN HAVE TIME FOR A MOON 😭😭😭

Taking applications for a moon. In one sentence, please describe why you are the right candidate to fill this position.

Girls spend hours on posts for Instagram for me to scroll up, think “do I even know you? 🤷‍♂️” and continue scrolling

@elonmusk @blueorigin Hey come hang out on Mercury… I promise I’m cool… half of the time

@blueorigin Congrats!

Picture perfect landing in the West Texas desert! #NSFirstHumanFlight

@JeffBezos @elonmusk @richardbranson one of you has to come visit me… just to say you did 🤷‍♂️