Ralphie the 3-legged WonderPom

@TarabearTara If you came to Chicago, you could be neighbors with me, Ralphie! Also, HUGE food and wine scene.

Hihihi. Kid has kidney ultrasound tomorrow and is very scared. Karls is helping by being bestfriend. Please think good thoughts for Kid.

@TarabearTara I’m am so sorry. Are they looking coy enough to have insurance that will actually help?

🚨IMPORTANT PSA🚨 Frens, we have started candidate research and planning mine mom’s ballot picks for Nov. 5. There are 112 items on the ballot!! Is mostly judges. We left those aside for now… we have only figured out 31 items. @BallotReady is our favorite platform for prep.

@CairnMollie O wow! Double civic duty. Well, I’m hope your mom gets the outcome she wants s for jury duty (mine dad gets kind of excited to maybe be on jury, mine mom hated the one time she did end up as juror # 11).

@3Ralphie Mine momma getz her absenteez ballot yesserday. Shez called for da juryz duty on da elecctionz day!!

🚨PROTECC YOUR RIGHTS ALERT!🚨 Election Day is in one month! Grandhooman (upstairs type) mail in ballot arrived today. I’m want everyone to check their registration and make a plan to vote! Go to vote.org/am-i-registere… to get ready! #Elections2024 #vote

@txsinatrafan That seems like an misguided and lukewarm take at best.

What f'ing planet am I in where people think the Beatles are "famously the squarest band in history"? Are you from an alternate universe? They saw things in Hamburg in '62 that would bring alpha males to their knees. The acid years? The India pilgrimage? Oh my good gravy...

Also, mine mom mailed all the letters and postcards to swing state voters yesterday! @votefwd @ActivateVote #votevotevote #ElectionDay

@BradyTheSilky This is excellent strategy.

@3Ralphie I eat anything my M puts in my bowl.

Hihihi frens. Is rain today, so no #barkpark for me, Ralphie. But I’m did go to magic food window with mine dad and there was an entire half an egg mcmuffie for me, Ralphie. Also had a bite and f mine mom’s homemade brefrest sammich. Had greens and soy bacon. Tasted too healthy.

@BradyTheSilky I’m like tofu, actually. Most vegetablenarian stuff is not bad.

@3Ralphie Soy bacon sounds dismal. Do they try to give you tofu, too? Congrats for food from MFW.

@Gusterbear Great job Kid!

Hihihi. Kid went to do beach educators and see stoopid seals and met 19-year old dachshund named Duchess! Greatest herodog!

Also I’m forgot to say we finished our first round of GOTV letters. Observe! Cute stickers! Round stamps! So cute! Are best letters! @votefwd #GOTV #vote #Election2024

Also, MOON is confused.

Hihihi frens! Is v. busy day! Mine mom took me, Ralphie, to #barkpark and we met two other tripawds (front leggie missing type) and also I’m was very social with no rude snapping (because, good boi). Then we went to errands, but none of the windows had anything for me Ralphie.

@BradyTheSilky Oh yes, we sure do. Mine dad says is growing under porch so it is hard to reach and cut down. Mine mom is looking for knee pads and work gloves to crawl under and cut down. Should maybe do before plants GO TO SEED next year. Mine mom brushed them. 1/10, will find new method.

@3Ralphie Do you have that plant in your yard, Ralphie? How did you get them out of your beautiful tail?

Frens, is sad day for mine mom. PRICKLYBURR SEASON has started. See mine tail as EXHIBIT A. (🎙️RMH: picture does not do the number of teeny barbed seeds justice. Also, pro tip: apparently trying to just brush the little jerks out of floof is a bad idea. They fly everywhere.)

(🎙️RMH: well, he was very chill until the 🤬 owners finally got control of their dogs and put them in the yard, and then all the dogs started yelling at once. What is it with fences??)

Mine mom took me, Ralphie, for short walkies (~1 mile) this morning. We were accosted by smol pack of unleashed smol #doggos. I’m was very brave and sat with mine mom doing a protecc on me, Ralphie. I’m did not bark or snap at all!

@RebeccaNotMsLay O thamk you!

@3Ralphie Your tail looks extra spectacular today

Hihihi frens. Is morning again, with a side of TOO BRIGHT OUT and a chaser of EVERYONE GRUMPY this morning including me, Ralphie. Mine dad and smol hooman are out the door and now is time for emotional support coffee (except not for me, Ralphie, even though I am big fan).