Kayronafc

@InvertTheWing Even bots have better writing

I have just awoken from an absolutely crazy nightmare. It starts, I am having dinner with Pep Guardiola and Mikel Arteta, at Salt Bae’s restaurant in London. We are exchanging tactical ideas. But halfway through this dinner, I try to check my phone, because I had no update from my friend Ange Postecoglou, who was also meant to attend this dinner. I spend minutes looking for it, not even focusing on the accent. Mikel says to me, “No, no… we speak about de phone later, eh? Now we are here, we enjoy de dinner… fully. Dis is de moment, yeah? You have to be present.” I obey, as I do not want to kill the vibe. Dinner goes on, we share some Sangria wine, eat steak. And of course, share tactical ideas. The dinner comes to an end, and I offer to pay. “No, no, no… you are our guest, my friend. I will not let you pay, eh. IMPOSSIBLE! Today, we take care of you, this is how we do, yeah?”, says Pep Guardiola. But Arteta, he has his own idea “No, Josep… let him, eh. It is good for him. He will learn a lot from dis… you understand? Sometimes, you have to experience dese things, yeah?” I oblige. I pay the bill for £1568.34, as it was all of our families enjoying the meal. But I still do not have my phone, and I complain to the restaurant staff. They told me it is my problem. Mikel Arteta offers to drive me to the police station, so I get into his Mercedes Benz GLE. I say my goodbyes to Pep Guardiola and his family, and go with Mikel. He tells me “I need to get something at my place first, eh. Then we go. Everything step by step, yeah?”, with a bit of a laugh. I am the passenger, so I can do nothing but agree. We get to his house, he tells me “You can come with me, eh… while we wait. We are like family here, you understand? Always together, yeah?” I feel flattered. He tells me I can look around, make myself at home, and tells me to check his office. Pitch black. I go to turn on the light. The door locks. A lightbulb shines. And a masked figure appears. The masked figure takes out his mask. It is Ange Postecoglou. He says to me “You left your phone, mate”. And gives it back to me. I ask him, “where were you, Ange? You missed our dinner! Why couldn’t you come?” Out of nowhere, Mikel Arteta comes out. “No, no. Don’t worry about him, eh. We focus on us.” “I cannot believe this, eh! I bring Ange, okay, yes, this is on me, I accept BUT YOU… you do nothing?! He is in your pocket! IN YOUR POCKET! And you are just there… like this doing NOTHING?! Where is the awareness? Where is the aggression?! You have to compete, even at the dinner table, eh! This is the standard! I cannot come here, organise everything, trust the process… and then you allow a pickpocket in front of me?! No, this is too much! You have to be sharper! You have to suffer! You have to feel it! Because this… this is not acceptable at this level, yeah?!” He throws my phone on the floor out of anger. “You have to leave my house. Now. No more discussion. This is the decision. Because if we accept this… we accept everything. And I will not allow that, yeah?” I leave. I am disgusted with myself. He has made me feel embarrassed. I could not even catch up with Ange, but why would Ange agree to this? I felt betrayed. And then I woke up.

@Ronhotspur You mean championship?

He’s a generational UCL riser man just wait until it carries over to the Prem

@Randylimited Did he face someone good?

🤣🫵🏾

#thfc Antonin Kinsky your time is now

TOTTENHAM HOTSPURS ARE FUCKING TERRIBLE

NAHHHH HE GOT SUBBEDDDD

Fair fucking play, Tudor. Genuinely massive balls to drop Vicario on a UCL night out of all days. But I am not complaining. Takes MASSIVE balls. I am inclined to give you leeway, you are seeing issues.

@InvertTheWing @MarkB_11 Yeah cus you're a cuck

@MarkB_11 Would a Tottenham fan respect Chelsea like I do?

Personally, as a neutral of The Premier League, I would absolutely hate to see Tottenham get relegated. They gave me some of the most knowledge to develop my ideas tactically. I learned a lot from Pochettino’s stint from 2014, and he inspired me a lot when learning as a coach. In between that period they also hired elite, respected coaches such as Mourinho, Conte, that really should have entertained the casual. They produced/developed some of the best players to ever grace football or the league. The likes of Kane, Walker, Son, Bale, Modric. The same with Ange Postecoglou, later. Gave me the most entertaining Premier League matches.

@InvertTheWing NEUTRAL? 😭😭 You're the most biased piece of shit on this app

@sonkanedele @InvertTheWing @FearedBuck Ik it's satire but it still cringes me to the core

@AFCvizer @InvertTheWing @FearedBuck idek what to say to you if you can’t see how satire this is

Kai Cenat reveals he keeps a wall of hate comments from Twitter/X users to make him more motivated

@afccharlie @TheAthleticFC Twitter on light mode? 😵

Why you delete this @TheAthleticFC

@InvertTheWing @FearedBuck How do you out-cringe yourself every time?

@FearedBuck Wow. I thought I was the only one.

Charlie Kirk was still alive the last time Spurs won a premier league game.

If they get relegated, they’ve contributed to our title chances and they will always be remembered ❤️🏆

@TheImmortalKop You would be unemployed if that happens though

Offside for his face, abolish this fucking sport it’s beyond a joke now

🚨BREAKING: Mikel Arteta wins manager of the year at the London Football Awards tonight. [@TheLFAOfficial]

@ranzafc @InvertTheWing Give it to this fraud 😂😂

@InvertTheWing Yo shut the fuck up and hold it like the good boy you are 😭😭✌🏽

Tudor cannot be trusted to go into this UCL tie. He has to be sacked after the whistle. He was on absolute crack with his profiling. Fuck is he doing playing Pedro Porro at centre back?

@D4ve_writes @InvertTheWing lolllllll

@UTDTrey Dream season for us.

Imagine your biggest rivals win the league while you get relegated😭

@TouchlineX What a ball by wharton. Absolute peach

3-1 Crystal Palace. GOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL SARR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S THREE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S THREE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE NIGHTMARE JUST KEEPS ON GOING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!