GrossHopper

How old people make use of canes: 10% walking. 90% shaking & waving at whippersnappers.

Meryl Streep loves Coachella for 101 reasons.

Sydney Sweeney has single handedly sent more men to the walk-in than chlamydia.

Imagine the shame of being the instigator and getting beaten up on Road Wars.

If I had Tiger Woods money I'd never drive sober either

Accurate

Days Of Our Lives can go fuck itself. Young And The Restless is where it's at.

@Girl_Censored Hell yeah

Wednesday.

Happiness looks different when you stop performing and start living.

Go to options and change the skill level to expert if you feel the need to drink and drive in Winnipeg tonight.

Single moms are the best. They know how to wine and dine a man. Stay the night and they send you home with a doggy bag full of Busch, Old Dutch and Pall Mall Bold.

Due to inflation bitches need 50$.

Trump will blow his load anywhere, Putin pulls out to avoid nation support.

Jennifer Tilly's tits can make way better rice krispie squares than Jamie Lee Curtis's tits.

“You found it offensive? I found it funny. That's why I'm happier than you.” - Ricky Gervais

I read Arabic in three words. "Pop quiz hotshot".

Who would've known sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads kryptonite is an oil tanker.

@RiderofWolves Because you're white, have red hair and successful?

I hate doing taxes. Why the hell do I owe so much? 😤

One more. Next one I take will be in 2027 when I'm 43.