Hannah Penn

Yesterday I caught myself considering getting a fringe and now I’m scared I’ll start doing coke or making other equally terrible decisions.

Male feminists will explain to you that shaving your pubes is giving in to the pressure of pedophilic beauty standards and then literally shave their face

If you think your NYE was a bit sad remember that I saw a guy in the park who was literally on a run at midnight.

Well, what do I do now? @RishiSunak

Do people who say that bisexuals are lucky because they have more options really think there are more women who want to date me than there are homophobic men?

Just ended a set with a joke about men giving unsolicited comedy advice just to 30 minutes later receive some unsolicited advice from another act. Wild.

Do I want a boyfriend or do I just want someone to send Secret London articles to?

Why does @thetrainline not have a customer support number/chat for continental Europe? An email form is too slow to deal with issues customers have

That’s me!

Last night my improv show @PilotImprov did a split hour with a middle aged man performing a ceremony which involved him clicking and humming into a microphone about his divorce at midnight and if that’s not the most #edfringe thing ever idk what is.

Had the best time performing at the Big Gay @GABcomedy Night tonight. Always great to be reminded of how genuinely funny people who aren’t straight white men are.

Children are wild. A six year old just asked me if I had the same bed as her.

@caitlinpwll Absolute queen. So proud of you! ❤️

fml just found out ive won ArtFund’s (u know, the folk who let u see art for free)writing competition and will be commissioned to write for them this summer😭✨💃not to be soppy but i entered around when i was rejected from my dream writing job and now im just weeping happy weeps

blokes. we talk after u say bye. like ‘did he enforce a front hug when u went for a side? did he do the back-slap so it’d seem friendly? did he do the slide down to ur arse and grab ur waist?’ trust me we get witnesses, corroborate data. do that shit and ur name is in a damn file

@petrukpls @ me next time?

I just ended an improv show by telling the audience “thank you for your attention” and it might be the most honest thing I’ve ever said on stage

Ladies if he -keeps you warm at night -but occasionally needs repressurising He’s not your boyfriend he’s your boiler and there’s some very comprehensible tutorials on youtube

I just single handedly fixed a boiler and I think I finally know where men get all their confidence from