Ham Randal

September 2nd, 2088, 11:13 p.m CST

@hazardpounder @timsharter @wolfpackgeorge LET HER MILK IT FROM BEHIND

@timsharter @wolfpackgeorge @AShittyEngineer Let us hear you sing

Never understood the anti-handjob propaganda. Sure, you can jerk yourself off with better skill, but at the end of the day you’re sitting there in your bed with a box of tissues. It’s the mental factor. Handjob in 5 #TheDebate

@BreakfastBacon1 @basedgod126 #CrankIt

Great space this evening

A lot of you couldn’t be captains because you’re not willing to to go down with the ship. #PirateThoughts #Rum #Scurvy

@TonyRomo69420 I’ll see you in lockup then

I’m tired I was going to call it a night but I remembered these seniors are about to be gone forever. Tonight I will but putting on a vintage freshman year Romo performance. If someone could bail me out in the morning that’d be great.

i used to think blow dealers fucked hot blonde girls who party super hard but apparently it’s midgets???? #oxford

amish girls probably give really good handjobs

Lana Del Rey is for introverted girls and right-wing extremists.

@ethelhemsworth True!

Average pi kapp

@SheClap4Sosa I know three Beans and they are all named Tyler

Dudes will go by some obscure nickname like “Beans” through the entirety of college then announce their first job on LinkedIn and get comments talm bout some “Congrats William!”

getting a new pair of shoes as an adult and not a single person asks how fast you can run in them

I spit on my burrito before I eat it, imagine what I’d do to your butt

@StacksCpa Are you blocked?

I once had a fling with Miss Teen ND and I put it in her ass on accident and I never heard from her again. Tractor beer

PBR does it all!

Rock fucking hard

Last final of the year, power hour here I come

Sacdemic just got that much worse… #FreeLindy #fuck #sacdemic #oxford

The Esler files just keep getting better! #Esler #oxford #bagdemic #eslerfiles

So this kid was out here trappin blow and fuckin midgets?

The algorithm is fucked now. 3/4ths of everything I see is an image/video. You're all gay. I remember browsing Twitter during Trump's first term, found this lowbie egirl who would post poetry, pure text. Scrolled her media, found a pic of her in 2015 showing her legs that were mostly covered by a skirt and boots, but a morsel of her porcelain skin was showing between the cloth and leather. I didn't jack off to it. Instead I sent some other pics she took of her environment and apartment, and found out where she was living, the exact address. It was already too easy back then, now you might as well just go jack off to bitches pinterest boards cuz nowadays every single egirl on here wants to be raped and thus the magic is gone