Mark Davison

"I bought a barrel of oil AND IT'S GONE DOWN?!" Colin from Portsmouth is absolutely furious.

Football pundits when there's a tight offside call...

📞"The Green Energy lobby started this war! They convinced America and Israel to start a war to make oil prices expensive! Now people will think renewable energy's a better idea!" Colin from Portsmouth knows who really started the conflict in Iran, and he's furious.

"With Andrew and Mandelson, it just goes to show that no matter how wealthy and powerful you are, no one's above the law." "Apart from [Redacted], [Redacted], [Redacted], [Redacted] and [Redacted]. Seems they're above the law actually." Colin from Portsmouth is on the line.

"I'm shocked, Anthony! Peter Mandelson and Prince Andrew seemed like such stand up, decent blokes!" Colin from Portsmouth can't believe the findings.

Abraham Lincoln invites you to the theatre.

Should we ban the over 65s from social media? The government are considering banning the elderly from social media as their brains haven't properly developed. But is a ban a step too far?

"Let's invade Belgium." "All I'm saying is we pop over, invade Belgium and call it Greater Kent." Colin from Portsmouth is in imperious mood.

Stockley Park - a VAR period drama coming to ITV 1

Them: When are your Colin from Portsmouth Christmas jumpers back on sale with 20% of proceeds going to Crisis UK? Us:

"Nigel Farage came to me as the ghost of Christmas future." Colin from Portsmouth had a dream last night.

Stop forcing weather down our throats, says Colin from Portsmouth.

Minister describes immigration policy shake-up as "a bit of fun". . .

It weren't like this in my day. . .

"It's always the fault of the migrants. Except when it isn't." Colin from Portsmouth advocates preemptive outrage