Mark

Donnie Wahlberg reading my book. Not AI!

Spending Memorial Day watching as many Tales from the Crypt episodes in a row as I possibly can

@eatingedibles lol

@AgingRanchHand mere coincidence you found it on your wife's nightstand

Seeing a lady's list of biggest turn offs and it's so specific to me that it includes my exact birthday and blood type

Luther in-between Mission Impossible 3 and 5 :

An ankle monitor is the sign of a life well lived

Standing in an above ground pool and convincing a police officer he can't arrest me because I'm in open waters and he has no jurisdiction

The triple a guy took a slice without asking. He's holding it in one hand and working with the other it's slowing him down

Ordering two pepperoni pizzas to the side of the highway I'm broken down on before I even call Triple A

@barnaclebucket I'm thinking they used AI and no one cared enough to check it

@AgingRanchHand What the hell is that slogan

As far as I'm concerned there's really no difference between Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce and these people in this Burger King advertisement

@crowcialist lol

The For You tab is a great way to get sad about the pets of people you don’t know dying

@AutumnTweets Thank you

@AgingRanchHand That's so smart.

Me *waking inside a rolled up carpet, would be very clear to anyone else that someone attempted murder and is now getting rid of the body* : Aw a rug ride hell yeah

@EarvLikes @abs_sweetmarie Honored.

@_Kyouu Loved it. Some people think it's too slow but monster in an item in an antique store is pretty much my ideal movie. On hbo max

@AgingRanchHand Oh yeah, I've seen most of Cronenberg but for example these early Del Toro movies I don't yet know

High watching The Brood explaining to my wife that I'm one of the smartest people on planet earth

@_Kyouu I would suggest pretty much all 80s Cronenberg if you haven't already The Fly/Videodrome/Scanners

@AgingRanchHand I really need to watch more weird body/creature horror

Cape Cod is one of the best places to wait in line for coffee

Listen, last night I said some things I shouldn't have said. Please don't tell anyone I'm Zorro. I sliced a big Z and posted it on my insta story with the caption "I've always been Zorro, baby!"? Ok then nevermind I guess

Cape cod maxxing

Nothing funnier to me than a guy who is doomed. Like the thought of a guy that only has bad things ahead of him makes me hold my stomach laughing