Alastair Jenkins

@Morrisons you should be ashamed of yourselves... If the big JC rose from the dead and was presented with this he would nail himself back to the cross. I'm off to @marksandspencer for some richly fruited hot cross buns

#RAHChristmas I love this so much I may as well be in the horn section

@BootsSebJ I was just in Boots Kings Langley and saw a very angry lady by the name Holdsworth or Holdcroft who had to wait in a queue and was shouting at the poor staff that she has you on speed dial. If you do know her it might be worth having a chat. She was an embarrassment

@McMullens_pubs Currently having an awful experience with you in the Plough crews hill. Been waiting 1hr30 for lunch including 2 kids meals. Kids are now grumpy and staff really couldn't give a toss. Surely you can do better than this maybe lunchtime came as a surprise today?

@paramountplus can’t watch anything, what’s the point in paying for something if you can’t use it. #ParamountPlus #paramountplus

@SeismicSoftware Hi Seismic. Bit of a niche question. I'm building out a seismic page and would like to include an auto updating table. Is there anyway to embed a table from excel into a seismic page or can you suggest a better solution? Thanks in advance

@edsheeran Hi Ed, my friend @AdamCrookshank does not like you. He does like @depechemode please can you cover Personal Jesus to bring him round. Love you xxx

@SamsungUK Poor job on #Sustainability by you guys. I ordered a monitor for delivery in 2days, 30mins later phoned to cancel it and was told that you have to attempt delivery and I have to refuse and send back on the lorry to you. Feels like you are trying to kill the planet.

@VapianoUK Any chance of a response on this. This is a pretty big oversight on offering a vegan menu. #veganism

@VapianoUK Having a terrible experience in Vapianos. No one can tell me if the vegan bolognese has fish in it. Been trying to get an answer for 35mins

My son's pig laughs like @jimmycarr

@DashDrinks Hi @DashDrinks, Did you miss this?

@DashDrinks Hi, Genuine question (not trying to be an arse) How come it says 0 cals on the front of your cans and on the back it says 3cals per 100ml?

@CameronNewton Hey Cam, it's my mates bachelor party and we are going as NFL QBs. The bachelor is of course @CameronNewton. Would you be able to donate any clothes to our endeavours. #imback #therealnumber1

@McDonaldsUK Picture the scene, driving for hours in the distance I see those beautiful golden archs. I contain my excitement as get my double big mac back to the car. Now picture my disappointment as I open this atrocity. WTAF is this! @BurgerKingUK would never let this happen

@ChrisCountry @theshiresuk Excited for The Shires

Hi @sainsburys I wanted to thank you on behalf of the cows for giving them a day off from cheese production when producing your kids cheese pizza. Daisy's udder was really starting to chafe until you stepped in. Not all heroes wear capes Sainsburys, Keep up the good work!

@thehundred Love the game and the format. Please can you make the left and right pillars smaller on the graphics they are infuriatingly large.

11 will forever be known as a Morrison's Dozen #MorrisonsDozen

@Morrisons 12! 12! Come on Morrisons this is 11.5 at an absolute stretch... This is the antithesis of a baker's dozen.