Allison Wilhelm

@saddymayo Watching Pizza Movie and eating Easter candy

Alright, I gotta be in a good mood the rest of the night I don’t wanna be miserable and icky. what are we doing?

Being strapped into a rocket and then discovering the system runs on Microsoft is the stuff of nightmares

@MissSassbox How is this even a question??

if someone paid you $250k tax-free cash to wear light up sneakers for the next 30 days in a row, with every outfit, what are you doing?

@catladyactivist @yogastephy Well that's just it, companies no longer want to pay people to help, they want to spend as little on labor as possible and that means cutting staff and cutting corners on training. Call centers are overseas and everyone just says/does what the AI tells them to.

@yogastephy This is life now. Everything is self-service, even though people get paid to do the things you're forced to handle alone. This goes for healthcare, too.

Discovered that my credit card has been hacked (I still have physical card). When I called Walmart Mastercard to report it, they told me I had to call all the businesses where charges took place to find out how it happened. I said no. Who am I? Nancy drew? Why is it on me to call

@1ssve I put my watch on to charge when I shower, and for a little bit after usually.

Dear apple we can’t use our watches at night for the sleep data because it doesn’t have enough charge. We have to charge it while we’re sleeping

@Dearme2_ Exercise

Without drugs... what is the greatest weapon against anxiety and depression?

@TheCinesthetic I'm gonna say it. Even that season, the season everyone says should have been the last one, wasn't very good. Glad they wrapped it up nicely, if only they could have given season 7 a nice ending and called it a day.

Scrubs (2010) ended with JD walking down that hallway, imagining his future on the screen, a goodbye that actually felt earned, and then the show came back anyway and diluted what was already a perfect ending.

Every song in The Music Man has the cadence of an improvised song composed for one’s dog while home alone

@rebirthcanal I'm trying to imagine what parents would possibly need to text their kids about that's SO important it needs their kids' immediate attention in the middle of class. Whatever it is can probably wait until lunch, free period, or after school. If it's urgent, call the school.

im so glad i graduated high school in 2005 you people are fucking insane... this is why young people dont do anything or leave the house anymore stop suffocating your children

My company rolled out AI tools 11 months ago. Since then, every task I do takes longer. I am not allowed to say this out loud. Not because there is a policy. There is no policy. There is something worse than a policy. There is enthusiasm. There is a Slack channel called #ai-wins where people post screenshots of AI outputs with captions like "this just saved me an hour." There is a VP who opens every all-hands with "the companies that adopt fastest win." There is a Director who renamed his team from Operations to Intelligent Operations. There is a peer review question that now asks: "How have you leveraged AI tools to enhance your workflow this quarter?" If the answer is "I haven't, because I was faster before," that is a career decision. So I leverage. Emails. Before the tools, I wrote emails. This took the amount of time it takes to write an email. I did not measure it. Nobody measured it. The email got written and sent and it was fine. Now I write the email. Then I highlight the text and click "Enhance with AI." The AI rewrites my email. It replaces "Can we meet Thursday?" with "I'd love to explore the possibility of finding a mutually convenient time to align on this." I read the rewrite. I delete the rewrite. I send my original email. This takes 4 minutes instead of 2. The 2 extra minutes are the enhancement. I do this 11 times a day. That is 22 minutes I spend each day rejecting improvements to sentences that were already finished. In #ai-wins I posted a screenshot of the rewrite. I did not post the part where I deleted it. 23 people reacted with the rocket emoji. That is adoption. Meetings. We have an AI notetaker in every meeting now. It joins automatically. It records. It transcribes. It summarizes. After each meeting I receive a 3-paragraph summary of the meeting I just attended. I read the summary. This takes 3 minutes. I was in the meeting. I know what happened. I am reading a machine's account of something I experienced firsthand. Sometimes the account is wrong. Last Tuesday it attributed a comment about Q3 revenue to me. My manager made that comment. I spent 4 minutes correcting the transcript. Before the notetaker, I did not spend 7 minutes after each meeting correcting a robot's memory of something I personally witnessed. I attend 11 meetings a week. That is 77 minutes per week supervising a transcription nobody requested. I mentioned this once. My manager said "think about the people who weren't in the meeting." The people who weren't in the meeting do not read the summaries. I checked. The read receipts show single-digit opens. The summaries exist not because they are useful but because they are there. I read them for the same reason. Documents. I write a weekly status update. Before the tools, this took 10 minutes. I typed what happened. I sent it. My manager skimmed it. The system worked. Now I open the AI writing assistant. I give it my bullet points. It produces a draft. The draft says "Significant progress was achieved across multiple workstreams." I did not achieve significant progress across multiple workstreams. I updated a spreadsheet and sent 4 emails. I rewrite the draft to say what actually happened. Then I run my rewrite through the grammar tool. It suggests I change "done" to "completed" and "next week" to "in the forthcoming period." I click Ignore 9 times. Then I send the version I would have written in 10 minutes. The process now takes 30. I have been doing this every week for 11 months. I have added 20 minutes to a task that did not need 20 more minutes. I call this efficiency. I have been calling it efficiency for 11 months. That is what efficiency means now. It means the additional time you spend to arrive at the same outcome through a longer process. Nobody has questioned this definition. I have not offered it for review. I kept a log once. 2 weeks. Every task, timed. Before-AI and after-AI. The after number was larger in every case. Every single one. Not by a little. The range was 40 to 200 percent. I deleted the log. I deleted it because it was a document that said, in plain numbers, that the AI tools make me slower. And a document like that has no place in a company where AI adoption is a strategic priority. I could not send it to my manager. He championed the rollout. I could not post it in #ai-wins. I could not raise it in a meeting because the notetaker would transcribe it and the summary would read "[Name] expressed concerns about AI tool efficacy" and that summary would be the first one anyone actually reads. So I do what everyone does. I use the tools. I spend the extra time. I post in #ai-wins. I write "leveraged AI to streamline weekly reporting" in my review and my manager gives me a 4 out of 5 for innovation. I have innovated nothing. I have added steps to processes that were already finished. I have made simple things longer and labeled the difference with words that used to mean something. Every week in #ai-wins someone posts a screenshot. And 20 people react with the rocket emoji. And nobody posts the part where they deleted the output and did the task themselves. Nobody posts the revert. Nobody posts the before-and-after timer. Nobody will. Because "I was better at my job before the AI tools" is a sentence that cannot be said out loud in any company that has decided AI is the future. Every company has decided AI is the future. So we leverage. Quietly. Adding steps. Calling them optimization. Getting slightly less done, slightly more slowly, with slightly more steps, and reporting it as progress. My yearly review is next month. There is a new section this year. "AI Impact Assessment." It asks me to quantify the hours saved by AI tools per week. I will write a number. The number will be positive. It will not be true. But the AI writing assistant will help me phrase it convincingly. That is the one thing it does well.

@TugboatPhil Thankfully I turned 21 just after Massachusetts began allowing alcohol sales on Sunday, but we could still only buy it between noon and 7PM. Now they're a little more reasonable, but one time I went to a brunch place and the bartender yelled at me for ordering a mimosa before 10

Just curious how many of "you people" remember living with Blue Laws on most store goods. If you have to look that up you probably didn't. West Virginia still had them when I left home in 1975 and Virginia didn't get rid of them until the early 80s if I remember right.

@GeriPerna People will make the argument that "retail is supposed to be temporary" and then go to the supplement section of Whole Foods expecting a wizened herbal healer, and get angry when it's just some woman who started 3 months ago. Expertise comes with experience, not just work ethic.

When I worked at Macy's back in the 80's, people who worked there raised families on what they made. It was their career. I remember the guy in electronics retired after 30 years, and my boss in the cash office did the same. The guys who worked in the suit department did very well for themselves. Despite that, the store profited greatly every year, and we were given a beautiful Christmas party in appreciation. What changed in this country? When did it become nearly impossible to support oneself at a job that didn't require a degree or technical school?

@OrevaZSN Looking for "passion" is unrealistic, what they could be asking for is someone who appreciates the repetition of data entry and finds the work satisfying.

"We're looking for someone with a passion for data entry." No, you're looking for someone who needs money and health insurance. Let’s stop pretending Excel spreadsheets are some kind of spiritual calling.

This in IMAX would go CRAZYYY

@paularambles real walkers close the app after checking once and only reopen after they’ve got real lost

@NCAAIceHockey @NCAA @BadgerWHockey If it couldn't be Northeastern, I'm glad it's them

Lacey Eden: the first player in @ncaa women’s hockey history to win 4️⃣ national championships‼ 🏆 2021 🏆 2023 🏆 2025 🏆 2026 #WFrozenFour x @BadgerWHockey

@Kyle_Cush I want her on the Fleet!

Caroline Harvey's season is over, and it's one of the best ever: • 🥇 Olympic gold • 🏆 NCAA national championship • Olympic MVP • Patty Kazmaier Award • Olympic Best Defender • Olympic All-Star • WCHA Player of the Year • 1st Team All-American Next up: The PWHL draft.

@Caffeindated @fawfulfan That's a condo.

@fawfulfan No. So many younger people have an outsized idea of what housing should be. Here is a house in DC for $300k. Took me 5 seconds to find. zillow.com/homedetails/17…

So many older people literally have no idea how much a home costs these days, which is part of why many of them have no moral issue with blocking new home construction near them.

@favdickinson I rewatched it the other day, I forgot how incredible it is.

people want us to believe that chicago isn't one of the best films to have won best picture