Alfred fixin' to have a great 2026!

It's the same thing your whole life: "Clean up your room. Stand up straight. Pick up your feet. Take it like a man. Be nice to your sister. Don't mix beer and wine, ever." Oh yeah: "Don't drive on the railroad track."

@KurtSchlichter Mexicans don't celebrate Cinco de Mayo, Kurt. It's a made up holiday for Americans that fled Mexico. No Mexican food for you, you get Swanson's.

Mexico is so lame that its big holiday, Cinco de Mayo, celebrates beating the French..

@DontBotherKeiti depends on who it is.

Is it bad to wish someone was in criticaler condition

@Breaking911 How? He is openly an anti American, anti Christian Ohio last DEI fraud. He wins only if Ohio Republicans stay home. There IS another option.

BREAKING: Decision Desk HQ projects Vivek Ramaswamy wins the OH Governor Republican Primary

@NerdyMom47 Prayers sent!

I need prayers. The stone finally stopped into my ureter, causing severe, excruciating pain 😪

@infantrydort What? you don't celebrate a holiday not even Mexicans celebrate? No tacos for you,you get Swansons.

No I don’t care if Mexican Independence Day is in September. I’m American. Flexing for no good reason whatsoever is our God given right.

I only celebrate American independence.

@ThexyBeatht_2 Hi

Cheers! Say hi!

@lynnhowlett not many, I reckon.

I wonder how many of the #MetGala attendees will goto Heaven...

@Nyaswarheit @legaltweetz He's as pretty as a 1958 Edsel. Might appear attractive to some, but generally, not pretty. He's so male the best description of him is deformed,for he is not handsome, nor a pretty woman.

@Alrockincorpus @legaltweetz That doesn’t make him/her/whatever you want to refer to them as NOT pretty. That being said Hunter is a male and I don’t think the prettiest woman award should’ve been given to them.

He’s a pretty man, not a woman. You cannot buy your way into womanhood with cross sex hormones and surgeries. You’re still a man. Womanhood isn’t for sale.

@LizzyStarrrdust @Bqmbulu Years ago, my sister warned me: "nice" guys finish last. I've taken it to heart, and don't attempt to be a "nice" guy.

@Bqmbulu The way you phrase this implies the nice guys feel entitled to sex simply for being "nice." Nice isn't real nice doesn't get shit done.

Why do girls easily open legs for fuck boys, but never for nice guys who have good intentions for them?

@CarolineForPA @lynnhowlett @StevieNicks It's called "The Lighthouse" and "Your life's forever changed And all the rights that you had yesterday Are taken away And now you're afraid" Hysterical nonsense.

@lynnhowlett @Alrockincorpus @StevieNicks Never even heard of it .

Stevie Nicks Mad Hatter for #MetGala. I was a top fan @StevieNicks til you wrote that God awful song about abortion 2 years ago. I pray for your conversion...THAT would be a legacy.🙏

@6zzOp Yamamoto was bold and daring...but only in the most limited aspect. He had a great carrier weapon, yet he placed great value on battleships. He was like a bow and arrow general who had perfected a machine gun and still placed most of his faith on his bows.

1942年5月4日 ミッドウェー作戦準備 戦艦「大和」艦上の会議終了後、村田重治少佐(海兵58期)が声を上げて噛みつく。 「何とナンセンスな作戦だ！大和や他の奴らは三百浬と後からノコノコやってきて、無用の長物の大砲で何ができると思っているんだ」

@lynnhowlett she's a weirdo.

Met Gala: Madonna Reaction: JUST when we thought the old Madonna (pre 2015) was finally making a comeback w Coachella, she goes full nuclear FREAK. Witch Bride with a court of 6 holding her train. She's gone.

@DontBotherKeiti no

Is there anything more comforting than warm ramen noodles hanging out your mouth

@cailleach_feasa Lenny has quite obviously never bothered to even skim thru the constitution of the United States. Maybe he's a South Asian?

Golly gee, if only Article Iv, § 4 said something about guaranteeing a republican form of government. But, yeah, skippy, I'm the moron. 🙄 People would be better off fighting a grizzly bear while they were covered in salmon than arguing constitutional law and history with me.

@lynnhowlett @TONYxTWO @danielr521 Ya, well, it's killing us, and we are running diesels. I'll gripe if I want to.

@TONYxTWO @danielr521 Because you're paid not to.

Filling up my truck and not complaining about gas prices because I trust my president

@dosegenderos yay

For sale. Truck bros, yay or nay?

@DontBotherKeiti nooooo,not the gummies!

My dentist said he thinks my gummy vitamins might be about to give me a cavity MY VITAMINS Y'ALL AIN'T THAT SOME BULLSHIT

@SandyofCthulhu @heikihenken That would be General Jeffery Amherst, 1st Baron Amherst CB. He advocated the spreading of smallpox during Pontiac's war. He never actually did so, but he was relieved of his command, probably because of his attempt at biological warfare that did not work.

@heikihenken This is a false oft-repeated canard. There was ONE British Brigadier who suggested this in the mid-1700s and it was such a horrific idea the story has lived on. But it was never EVER done, at least as an official practice. It may have happened with some wilderness family.

天然痘　致死率4割で感染力が非常に強力というぐう畜ウイルス感染症。アメリカ大陸でヨーロッパ人が患者の使った毛布を原住民に贈ってあげたりしていた。これするとあいつら全滅するんのなんでやろなあ（すっとぼけ）生物兵器は怖すぎるからやめろ