@nd®é™ 🙄

I built an electric fence around my house. My neighbour is dead against it.

Possibly the greatest single male athletic performance of all time

This is the highest level of Creativity 🔥

I like to keep my fingers on the pulse.

Shoutout to all the trains out there l!

Public Service Announcement: Drivers are advised to avoid all roads leading to Andover, Hampshire. There aren’t any road closures.. it’s just, you know, awful. #PSA

I bet Bruce Lee is shitting himself #ChuckNorris

@SW_Help i need to travel from Winchester to London tomorrow. Where do I get the bus replacement from in Winchester? At the rail station or the bus station etc

@parker__farquer I’m genuinely glad to hear you are on the mend and is ‘painkiller’ a euphemism for ‘Doctor’?

Recuperating. Having swallowed a thousand painkillers, at 5am I took my wheely walker to the kitchen and managed to make my own coffee. It took ten minutes and Charlie The Chihuahua ran away, but I did it. Triumphant face.

Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. Oh my God! There’s so much blood!

@parker__farquer You’re meant to wait for the car to stop moving before starting dogging. Hope this helps x

Update : I'm in hospital with a fractured pelvis and fractured arm. I don't need surgery so that's good.

@parker__farquer Don’t worry… it IS Friday now. Not that I’m saying this week, or month, is dragging.

@AndreTheViking WHAAAAAT??

Just realised it’s Thursday not Friday

#PitchMeeting Writer: And in this next scene the Geologist, once again, shows himself to be a weak, pathetic little man who nobody respects. Director: Didn’t your wife leave you for a Geologist? Writer: Fuck those guys!

I feel confident that most of you hold firm the belief that, if on a strange, rocky landscape and some rocks were not behaving within expected parameters then the ideal stranger to bump into would be a Geologist. Well, you’d be wrong! Roll film..

#Science The Great White Shark is the most feared but also the most studied of all sharks so we know, empirically, that they predate dinosaurs, don’t celebrate birthdays or masturbate. Which raises the question… Can we really blame them?

This is one of the most extraordinary things you will see, by Marula Eugster Rigolo

This might be the greatest sports highlight of all time.

Finally! The Jurassic Park sequel we’ve all been waiting for

@ThatEricAlper The film ‘Against All Odds’ (1984) had a theme song, of the same name, written and performed by Phil Collins. I’ve had to live with Complex PTSD for 41 years. Can’t remember if the film was any good.

What is a movie you watched once that was so disturbing or emotionally draining that you can never watch it again?