Andrew Phan

It’s been over a year since I last tweeted.

Wouldn’t it be more efficient to board the plane starting with passengers at the back of the plane…?

When you’re the last one in the office on a Friday but everyone forgot about you and locked you in.

At a concert. This is my view.

Cold toilet season is upon us

Dear @Razer, just letting you know I bought myself a brand new Razer Blade because @ATC_BAND endorses you and they’re cool.

In my own opinion, on the matter of opinions, my opinion doesn’t need to be the same as your opinion, nor does your opinion need to be the same as my opinion. And if you disagree with this opinion, you’re actually kind of agreeing with my opinion. But hey, that’s just my opinion.

I won an auction on eBay today where my winning bid was exactly 1p more than the 2nd highest. Feeling pretty smug.

@ianmiles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles coming soon then!

Scientists are creating human-pig hybrids. Is this going too far?

I didn’t peek outside to catch a glimpse of the blue moon last night. I stayed in bed and looked at it on my phone.

Sitting in a meeting at work staring at a mug provided by work telling me to quit said work.

I don’t know any vegan people who don’t make a big deal about it.

@currys I’ve never liked a single post on Twitter before, but sure, I’ll like this one for the win. Ninja Grill would be great 👍 #CurrysNinja

Elevate your cooking game and create guilt-free, mouth-watering meals!😋 Win one of the below: Speedi AirFryer Grill 1. Like the competition post and follow @Currys on Twitter. 2. Reply to the competition post with the product you’d like to win. #CurrysNinja

I uncomfortably eat biscuits whole to reduce crumbs.

They say the best things in life are free. LIES. KFC is not free.

Annoyed how much I’ve already spent this month. So I decided to buy myself some stuff to make me feel better.

More things in life should be free.

I sprinkle some chocolate on my coffee when I’m at home. Makes me feel fancy.

I’m eating cake for dinner.

It’s been about 3 years and my neighbour still thinks my name is Simon. Never got round to correcting him. Too late now.