Andy Alvarez

The way my cat looms over me as I clean his litter box only for him to immediately use it as soon as i’m finished is disrespectful

acabei de descobrir que não importa quão cedo eu vá para a cama eu simplesmente não quero ir trabalhar

My HOA frowns on it as well, but living in Nevada it’d be silly not too, and most of my clothes its better to not put in the dryer.

Conselho do dia: Não se estresse, a empresa não é sua e hoje é sexta-feira.

@Thunderpig89 @itsme_urstruly I can see how problematic these can be but damn do they fuck.

@itsme_urstruly You forget the golden era of Entertech from '85-'90. Supersoakers were the nuke upgrade that ended the brief reign of the realistic battery operated machine gat.

I know every generation has their class struggles, but let me tell you about the summer of 1990 when Supersoakers hit the market and only a few kids could afford them and the rest of us were hunted for sport.

i’m in an abusive relationship with the passage of time

Well done, you anti-vax freaks.

*screams in ER nurse*

i be fucking up the large popcorn bucket at the theaters by myself #realeater

@be_like_ice Conduct a meeting, I have to rehearse so i’m not tempted to go off the cuff and freestyle the content.

Neurodivergent gang what's something you have to mentally prepare for that everyone else just does?

The final stage of your career is being silent in meetings.

@CocoTweetin Aw Love it, she adopted a great pair of humans to care for her. she shows her gratitude with food and protection😆

@AndyAlvarez She is! We can’t manage to keep her inside too often so she is outdoor and gym kitty! She brings us dead lizards inbetween meals, loves a chair and protects us adamantly from birds. 😂

Sooooo unexpectedly, Julius and I are now cat parents.

"the only thing we have to fear is fear itself" wrong. balthazar the soul gorger

everyone come over gonna order a pizza, play first light and watch casino royale

Dating a man with ADHD I’ll be like “hey baby youve been really locked in for a couple hours, did you finish that script you were writing?” and hes been taking a quiz to name as many US cities as he can from memory

Solo travel really is the most freeing feeling ever. you can go and do what you want without being held back. if you wait on people you’ll wait forever.

Theres this hummingbird that likes to use the feeder but he also hangs out on the clothesline and will fly around Roomie for a bit when he’s on the move