Angela Does That

Did you know if you yell, “here, catch!” to any man he will do his best to catch it, even if it’s a half-melted ice cream cone? 2/2

@curmudgeon_red Bc i turn it on to fall asleep. It’s my comfort show for the moment.

@AngelaDoesThat If you are watching Little House, why would you need to be awakened?

Me: …that’s awfully sassy for someone who doesn’t control the wifi. 11yo: I guess you could turn it off and I’d grow up without it and be exactly like you… me: OMG, sick burn. *high five*

@Lynn_CatsRule @estockbridge One of them threw a used snotty tissue under my bed yesterday, and I was just glad she used a tissue. I don’t see self-sufficiency on the horizon anytime soon but they are much too close to nature.

@estockbridge But also no. Our house is at max capacity for living creatures. If anything else comes in, one us has to move out. I don’t even care who, send one of the kids to live at the shelter.

@estockbridge I was going to say hell no, train the damn dogs we have, but then I thought, how much difference could it possibly make?

Puppy tearing open trash bags? Buy cans w locking lids. No one will use them but you waste money on a false sense of security. Fruit flies out of control? Stop buying produce. Everyone will leave egg shells/old fruit on the counters instead. You can truly live in filth forever

Love that you can see that I’m having fun.

@estockbridge At least the 6th grade games only last 75 minutes. Unfortunately they are outdoors.

@laguyinhou @estockbridge She doesn’t accept excuses.

@AngelaDoesThat @estockbridge I'm just over here minding my own business!

me: knock knock 6yo: who’s there? me: interrupting [8yo] 6yo: interrupting [8– me: ACTUALLY… 8yo: what?? what I said was- me: what you ACTUALLY said? [She bit me.] Let this be a warning.

8yo: what’s the word for a task that never ends…? Me, half joking: …Sisyphean? 8yo: Yes! Like the story about the guy pushing the rock. @estockbridge have you been teaching the kids Greek and Roman mythology again?

One of my kids used my HUMAN hair brush on the dog. I know which kid it was because only one of them would willingly use a brush for any reason.

When Kevin Can F*ck Himself was behind a premium paywall, I didn’t know anyone else watching it and it stressed me out too much to watch it alone. Now that it’s on Netflix, I’m interested to hear more people’s impressions of it and picking it back up.

OK, this reminds of me middle child, but @estockbridge would have caught it. Seriously, why didn’t he catch it? tiktok.com/t/ZTNwtt8GV/

My autistic 1st grader loves to show me who I am as a parent. I’m in pain & suddenly started crying (kids don’t usually see me do this). “Mom, are you okay? Need a hug? Take some medicine. You’ll be okay. If you won’t take medicine, I don’t know how else to help you.” 🤡💀

@chocolatetarte Eventually you just lean in to the villain role and know that one day they’ll say “oh THATS why my mom was mad all the time…”

Next time you hear me say I’m signing my kids up for something, just punch me in the face and take my money so I can move on with my life.