Angie Davis ❤️’s Peen

I'm sorry, call me old fashioned, but I think shorts should be longer than your vagina.

Welcome to my beautiful home state, West Virginia.

Telling the barista at Starbucks i clogged the toilet as Im leaving

Trump looks like the back of Ashley's head in The Boys

Says the person hurting Americans.

Standing at the gas station wearing an “I ❤️penis” sandwich board, and ringing my bell.

The saddest part about growing up has been that I was led to believe villains lose.

@WilliamAder 😆

@AngieDavisHaha Glad I was sitting down when I read this!

Guys, I don’t think some of these animal accounts are real animals.

Women: I want to go for a run. Society: You can’t go alone. You’ll get raped. Women: I want to walk to my car in the parking garage. Society: Alone? You better get someone to escort you, or you’ll get raped. Women: I want to live alone. Society: You need a gun, an alarm system, a dog and probably a gun for the dog too. Women: What about going to the park? Society: Dangerous. Women: Okay, I’ll just go out for a drink then. Society: Don’t take your eyes off your drink. Watch out for predators spiking your drinks. Stay alert at all times. Women: I was raped. Society: Are you sure? That just seems impossible.

If you think I’m not quite as awkward around men anymore because I’m seeing someone now, I accidentally jabbed my elbow into his side so hard I broke his rib. This train wreck of absolute nonsense will not reach its limits.

Animals tweeting on Twitter is my favorite part of the downfall of America.

I’ll admit, when I was a kid in the 90s I definitely thought that Kid Rock would have less direct involvement with military operations

Why is every fucking tweet now dumb as shit obvious statements with thousands of likes and retweets?

The guy who threatened to annihilate an entire civilian population would like us to ‘tone down the rhetoric’.

Dealing with period cramps and I know this would be made better with the gift of a ballroom.

Those weren’t gunshots, that was just Kash Patel opening champagne.

Kash Patel has already written “anti-ballroom” on all the bullet casings.

Guys, guys, guys. The shooter was just trying wake up dozing Don.

Jesus Hollandaise Christ

Sure, when HE does it, it’s “good TV.” When I do it, I’m “not allowed back into Cracker Barrel.”