Supertanskiii@supertanskiii
I’m really struggling emotionally at the moment, got to wait a week to find out if, after a biopsy, my beloved little Barney has a death sentence. The timeframes for oral cancer in cats is horrific. I can barely think about anything else or even focus on politics, something that had been my hyper focus for over three years solid. I’ve been trying to write notes for content but my tears are making the ink run on the page. It’s my outlet, so I’m trying to use it as a distraction but it’s hard. I just cannot stop crying.
I’ve always had an affinity with animals, I strongly believe that they’re something that humans are entirely undeserving of, innocent creatures. I’ve even walked a street away to feed a tired bee some sugar, I’ll always help an animal in need. If I could, I’d open a farm for all the animals in need of love and care and unleash a severe punishment on people that have harmed them without conscience or hesitation.
I found Barney, tiny frightened and neglected, by some bins near my old house. Without hesitation I wrapped her in my scarf, put her in my bike basket and took her home. We found her uncaring owners. They didn’t care. She turned up on our windowsill the next day. I let her in and she never left. Not caring for her, didn’t even enter my mind.
She’s been there with me during the hardest times of my life, through visceral heartbreak, through the pandemic, through grief, my loneliest moments and the sudden, traumatic loss of our dear little Charlie in February.
Getting involved in politics has been really quite lonely and tough behind the scenes, I’ve been so hyper focused at times that I’ve not made time for much more like relationships and I don’t have many people to rely on, but knowing I had Charlie and Barney to look after kept me going through the threats, the trolling and stress of knowing what our politicians are doing. Unlike most people I have known, my pets have loved me unconditionally.
I’m so grateful to those who helped with the crowdfunder, it made yesterday much easier. Can I ask though, that people refrain from making their first response to someone talking about being scared about their pet’s biopsy, a story about your pet dying of cancer? It really doesn’t help. I’m frantic, currently.
I genuinely don’t know how I’ll cope if the results are bad. Losing both my beloved pets within a year would be so unnecessarily cruel and unfair, I couldn’t bear the heartbreak.
