ashlandian.bsky.social

F**K @FLOTUS

Her eyes are dryer than Ben Shapiro's wife.

How it started >>> How it’s going 1977 - 2026 @madonna #COAD2

Jamie…that sweater…my retinas can only handle so much. #Jeopardy

@starwolf_oakley Ahhh ok, thanks.

@Ashlandian Shae talked to Edwin when he was pretending to be an old co-worker of Maddy’s in Florida.

I missed it. What’s the problem if Shae sees the husband? #Matlock

Over the next month I will be working tirelessly to transition the office of Attorney General to the amazing Todd Blanche before moving to an important private sector role I am thrilled about, and where I will continue fighting for President Trump and this Administration. Leading President Trump’s historic and highly successful efforts to make America safer and more secure has been the honor of a lifetime, and easily the most consequential first year of the Department of Justice in American history. Since February 2025, we have secured the lowest murder rate in 125 years, secured first-ever terrorism convictions against members of Antifa, shattered domestic and transnational gangs across the country, taken custody of more than 90 key cartel figures, and won 24 favorable rulings at the Supreme Court. I remain eternally grateful for the trust that President Trump placed in me to Make America Safe Again.

@Nero Bitch please. Don’t act like you didn’t just milk a load into a sock

What is going on here

Invading Venezuela was a naked, desperate display, and it will not end well for any of us. No one is fooled about the intent. Well….i look forward to the proud citizens of Dumbfuckistan stepping right up to defend Dear Orange Leader.

Also, every year I see Its A Wonderful Life, Mr Potter and Donald Trump seem more and more alike. Especially when Potter steals Uncle Billy’s money, then calls the authorities to accuse him of a crime that Potter himself did and wishes George a happy new year in jail.

It’s a Wonderful Life always amazes me for how much story gets told. Same with Sound of Music. They’re both like three movies in one.

The OG ANTIFA

People ragging on Cher for lip synching. She’s 79 She’s a fucking legend. Seriously.

@lady_valor_07 I can’t tell if I see Howard stern or Muammar Gaddafi

Apparently, if you can see a fish, you're left-brained, and if you can see two people holding hands, you're right-brained. What do you see 🤔

@calvinrobinson Hang on, padre…you referring to the tree tradition your people stole from the pagans?

Talking the Christ out of Christmas. My faith is not your costume.

@Councillorsuzie Just because your entire personality revolves around being the human embodiment of your genitalia, doesn’t mean the rest of us are so focused. They’re genderless cookies meant to look like little fake people. Get over yourself.

Look at this nonsense- NO - they are gingerbread men!!!

Hermey and I are ready for Rudolph. I’ll never forget the guy who had a meltdown because I said Rudolph was the story of every gay kid and the Coach and Dad were assholes. He said I ruined it forever for him and his kids. Seriously…

@UofOklahoma Extremely poor form on the part of the university. That was expected to be a science-based paper and was anything but. The F grade was well-earned.

Statement from the University of Oklahoma:

The air smells better already.

Anyone else watching Matlock and screaming at the TV DO NOT HAVE THAT CONVERSATION IN THE OFFICE YOU FOOLS!! You know that conference room was bugged. #Matlock